Gone Fishing

I know I've severely neglected the DOG. Some of it is due to frustration while another part is due to travel and then there's another part that is due to somethin' cooking.

I'm very cryptic, I know.

If anyone is reading this and I'm sure YOU are just know that my life is boring and very interesting all at the same time. Now....everyone go back to not reading this and enjoying your weekend.

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Sometimes It's Just Exhausting

I just had an interesting convo with a fella. He basically told me he doesn't know what he wants. Fair enough. I'd rather know that now than a year into it. But I guess my question is: Is there ANY guy out there that does know what he wants? Anyone out there (who's attractive and smart/witty) that wants to have a relationship?

He then started opening up a bit too much: I'd like someone....you know.....to come over at 9pm and make out with me (who SAYS this??). Not sleep with me....well, maybe foreplay....but you know....just someone to sleep over. I don't have it in me to date. I like routine. I work. I go to the gym. I have dinner. And then I watch TV. I want someone to fit into this routine but I don't think I want a serious relationship. I wouldn't greet a girl at the door with my pants down. Actually, I don't know what I want. I could change tomorrow.

SO.....again....this is what's out there ladies. Those of you who are in relationships.....jealous? I didn't think so.

Date Me!

Where Have All The Good Men Gone?

Last night I was on a real high from a performance that I did. I did a reading of a story I wrote (yes, it was dating themed, hello?!). And then I came home, did some work and realized......I have no dating prospects. The high was gone. I seriously feel the well is dry. I still get contacted by guys but they're all lame. Seriously lame like guys either only looking for a good time, or ones that write "Hi" and even if I did respond with a "Hi, yourself" I'd never hear from them again. (And is "hi" all you men have in your arsenal????? Obviously, the answer is "yes")

Have I dated my way through Chicago????? Do I need to relocate to find fresh faces? MAYBE. I'm considering it.

The last guy I met (it was only a couple weeks ago but it seems like a lifetime) is fodder for a written/performed story and not necessarily for The DOG. It deserves a bigger audience.

So, instead of concentrating on my lack of a love life I will focus on ME (which is cliche, but true) and how I can get my stories out to the masses. After last night I feel that people can relate to my dating woes. I'd like to be the older Carrie Bradshaw for the world. I have the big flowers to wear on my lapel and the stories.

I do know a lot about dating as I've been doing it for a LONG time. But I know nothing about men. Go figure.

In any case, I have the best friends and family (sis and cousin) ever and in that respect I am a lucky, lucky girl.

Date Me!

Internet Dating 101

Here are a few things that guys do on the dating sites that really irk me:

1) Post pictures of scenery. WHO CARES?
2) Post pictures that are fuzzy. You obviously have something to hide.
3) Post 1 pic of multiple people/a group shot/two guys (obviously the more handsome fella is not you) and don't specify which one you are. Come on!
4) Don't fill out a profile or list minimal info but mentions: Ask me anything you want. I'm an open book. Then they also write that no one contacts them. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF WRITTEN IN YOUR PROFILE.
5) Guys who im me but never want to send me a proper email. They're usually really slow typers and obviously have no intention to meet me or they'd follow up. They never do.
6) Guys that say they want to meet me without disclosing their name. Wouldn't one want to know this up front?
7) Guys that only post 1 picture of themselves and get angry if you ask to see another picture. Again.....you have something to hide if you don't post at least 2 visible pictures of yourself. Not one profile shot and one of you hanggliding from a far away distance.
8) Guys that send me an email and I respond and never hear back from them. Could I have really written something that bad that would warrant nary a reply?
9) Guys that write, "Hi" and that's it. Um......do you really think that deserves a response?
10) Guys that write in an im, "How are you?" Isn't the response always going to be, "Good. How are you?" And then it's usually, "Good. What are you up to?" WRITING TO YOU, FELLA. Ugh. Gets me quite irritated. Bring SOMETHING to the table. It's the same old same old. Not a lot of substance out there.

That is all.

Date Me!

Does It Get Any Better Than This? No.

A guy on one of the dating sites asked me to help him find a job (no mention of wanting to date me AT ALL) and being the kind person that I am, gave him some advice and lo and behold here was his response. I can not make this sh*t up:

I went to LinkedIn.

There are mostly women on that site. Women and gay men are "power users" of social media sites and being a man I feel out of place and uncomfortable. I am just not the "metrosexual trendy type" who uses these social media sites to find employment.
I do not want to have a 30-something year old former sorority sister with an MBA to recruit me.

I'm a 43 year old man. It seems like women hold all the the careers in hotels and PR in 2011.

Thanks anyway.

You've got to be F'ing kidding me, right? THIS is what is out there ladies......grab it while the going's good. Oy!

Date Me!

Where Do I Begin?

Over the weekend I received these nuggets from potential suitors:

Cooljackie: hello beutyful (love the spelling! Upon further inspection into his profile, here's what he wrote......mind you, I am a grammar and spelling enthusiast.....but nothing about this can be comended): I realy do not have any hobbies I am dedicated to. But I enjoy being out side in good wether. And I am open to doing a veriety of things. I am perty easy going, and get along with people well.

WHERE DO I SIGN UP?????

Makes you want to run right out and date him, huh?

Then today I got this one from MrYadidda: Do you date black men?

Oh....and another one to mention from Pantywaste (REALLY? THIS is your profile name????): Hi

OH OH and then "The Voice" who wants to be friends even though I told him I didn't feel a connection starts trying to tell me which pictures of mine are good and which are bad. Um....who asked you?! He also said I should use the "professional tester" on one of the sites as they work (they tell you what pictures work and which are not good). They work?? Then why are you still single? That's mean. I take it back. I do. I'm just so friggin frustrated. ARRGGGHHHH!

I HATE INTERNET DATING! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!!!

Date Me!

One More Thing Because I Feel Like I'm On A Roll.....

........When guys say, "My loss, I'm sure" they don't mean this at all. They are THRILLED to be rid of you. If they really felt you'd be a loss they would be with you.

OK......now I am going to get off my horse. My high one.

Date Me!

Laying It On The Line

I'm honestly sick and tired. Ugh! ANOTHER dude goes MIA on me. But this one I confronted.

How do you go out with someone a couple times and get a text that reads: "Guess what? I like you." And barely hear from them again????? HOW!???

Well....I wanted some answers and so I asked. The answer seemed mamsy pamsy but I *think* honest. I won't go into the sitch as it's his business but I guess the moral of this tale is that from now on I do want to know the truth. For so long I have been the girl that didn't want to know....shelter me from the truth because the truth hurts. Well....not anymore. With this dating crap I need to know. And now I do.

Yes, the truth hurts but so does the ambiguity. So now I know. And now I hate him.

Date Me!

PS: For all the dudes that do douchey things to girls: Don't tell them how fabulous they are while you're being a douche. We don't need to be patronized. We get it. You're not into us. Don't make it out to be that we're all that if you can't muster up the balls to tell us what's really going on. OK.....I think I am now finished.

I Am The Pale Man

A dude I met while speed dating awhile ago found me on Facebook and has been sending me messages. They're mean messages. I think he holds a grudge because I wasn't interested in going out with him.

Check out these doozies:

8/10: wow what a pic, you are so white
And today: you are so white, so old

REALLY???!!!! Why be such a dick?! Maybe it's his jack-assedness Andrew Dice Clay humor (though he's Indian so is there an Indian Andrew Dice Clay?) that's a turn off.

Is it plausible for me to be a Jewish nun? Just checking.

Date Me!

The Voice

A million years ago I was contacted by a fella that seemed "good on paper". Good job. Relatively attractive (from his posted pics). Seemed active. Tall. We set up a time to talk and Holy Balls.....it was like I was talking to a muppet (the tone was like a cross between Kermit and Fozzy Bear). It was so bothersome that I had to get off the phone and hence I told him that I wasn't interested in meeting (though I did not mention The Voice).

Fast Forward to present day and who am I contacted by the other day, but him. I thought, hey....give it another shot. Maybe he had a cold? It's like 6 years later. We chatted last night and BAM. There it was. It's like I was talking to Herman Munster in a cave. (are we getting an audio now?) I just am so torn. I think I have to meet him in person but how will I handle it? Is it possible that he may sound better in person than he does over the phone? I could only muster a few minutes with him last night and told him I'd follow up today. I'm thinking of making a quick call to set up a time/place to meet for coffee and just go from there.

I have this visual that if we do meet he's going to show up in costume. Honestly. It's just some crazy feeling.

Date Me!

Coming Around Again

I changed up my photos on my dating profiles (gotta stir it up very once in awhile) and it's generated some buzz but what I find really amazing is that the interest is coming from guys I talked to YEARS ago (let's not sugar coat it....I've been doing the Online dating thing off and on for a bajillion years.....I've always been more comfortable trying to meet guys this way as it's a more controlled environment. I'm very shy and get nervous in group party settings so I always felt more comfortable meeting someone this way or through a set up where I know the guy is there to meet me. Now, I have dated guys I met other ways: work, improv/theater, walking down the street (I'm rad like that), etc but the Internet has always been a good resource for me). I, however, never met these particular dudes in person. I think it's because I wasn't that interested or I met someone else that I went out with and liked. But this go-round I'm going to meet them....just for a quick coffee or drink but I shall engage. What do I have to lose, right? Summer is going by quickly and I may need a hiatus from my hiatus.

So....I'm trying to get back in the game. We shall see if anything comes from it but I am officially back!

Date Me!

Oh Jeez

How can you take someone seriously when they write in their profile that (and it's literally in all caps) they're looking for an INTIMATE BOSOM FRIEND?

This is what's still out there, huh? Hiatus, I maintain.

Date Me!

Bling Bling

Last night I met a fellow that my friend (God bless her!) fixed me up with. She met him at a last call at a bar in Wicker Park. Solid.

He really wasn't my physical type but I'm more open nowadays and of course agreed to meet him.

Unfortunately, the meet and greet was actually uncomfortable. He didn't really talk a lot or expound on any of his answers so I found myself trying to carry the convo much more than I had hoped. He also seemed really disinterested in what I was saying. He has more of a stoic personality. Seemed like a tough nut to crack. Didn't really give much to go on in terms of conversation. There were long pauses and finally I found myself saying, "So....what else?" (which I hate!) He also mentioned that he doesn't date a lot (works a ton!) and my questions to him were some that he never got before and had a very hard time answering as he doesn't think about those things. Huh.

Off the bat I knew it wasn't a match: He was wearing a fancy light colored silk wide pinstripe suit with a pocket square, (um....not me at all) cuff links and 2 GINORMOUS blinged out rings that he got from back in his college days. Of course I was fixated on the rings and wondered why one would choose to wear not just one but TWO upon meeting me. He told me they're conversation starters and that he gets in lots of places by wearing them. I knew he sensed that I wasn't into them (I have a hard time hiding any dismay) and I think he checked out right after meeting me. I thought his face was attractive but the rest of him (he told me he didn't have to work for years if need be - he's well off - again....nice, but not important to me) just wasn't.

I guess it was good for me to go out. Being on a Summer hiatus has proven good and bad for me. Good: I don't feel as stressed or disappointed because I feel like there's no one out there for me BAD: I feel that because I'm not really looking that I probably won't find anyone as they don't just fall in my lap.....men, that is.

I also kept picturing my former neighbor while talking to this guy. He was the spitting image of him. That was a prob.

Anyway.....I gave it a shot. A shot in the dark.

Date Me!

Don't You Judge Me

So...last night I ran into a fella that I had "relations with" back in the day and as we were making small talk he asks, "So, you married?" I was thrown for a loop. I don't get asked this a lot and definitely not the 2nd or 3rd question of a convo. A wave
of: OhmygodnoI'mnotbutIshouldbemarriednoonehasaskedmewhydidyouaskmethisamIabigloser? came over me. I simply answered, "No. Are you married?" and he answered, "No. I thought I heard you were."

Why does this affect me so much? I honestly haven't stopped thinking about this all day. And it honestly makes me feel bad about myself. Now here's the thing: I don't care about marriage. I really don't. It's not the marriage thing. It's the not having anyone to share my life. But he doesn't know this. And he was asking just to make conversation but for some reason I thought I was being judged. I'm so hard on myself. I don't know why this is. I need to give myself a break.

On another note: a friend told me that a woman we were sitting with said I was attractive. Nice of her, of course but how come the dudes don't say this?????

I know. I'm just being a moron. I am Dori and I am a moron.

Date me!

Get The Hint!

How is it that the 29 year old stalker DOES NOT GET THE HINT? He just struck AGAIN a few minutes ago. This kid must have some balls. BIG balls. Why? Well.....when he called me a month or so ago 3 times consecutively (of course, I did not pick up as it was after midnight and he's a nutjob) I was at my wits end. I called my sister to ask for her advice. My initial instinct was to tell him that if he doesn't leave me alone I'm going to contact the police. But this made me worried as I don't quite know what I'm dealing with (obviously since I never return his texts or voice mails and he STILL contacts me makes me think he's a lunatic) and don't want to be murdered, SO.....my sis suggested she'd get her friend (he's a total bad ass and gets a kick out of "scaring people"......but in the nicest way possible) to call him and *lightly* threaten him that if he didn't leave me alone that he'd *kindly* kick his ass. Well, obviously the guy is insane because he just text messaged me: "Hey its (not it's.....what a smarty) rick. Remember me?" Um.....how could I forget you, you PSYCHO????

So....here's my question: What the Hell do I do now? He's not threatening me or harming me in any way but it's SOOO annoying. I just want him to leave me alone. Do you think this will ever happen or is this guy going to contact me forever?! Ugh! I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any ideas.

I'm just so over it!

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Dr Neil Clark Who?

Not that I believe anything Dr. Neil Clark Warren says since I've spent a year on eHarmony and RARELY get matched with anyone of significance and then if I do I never hear from them (nor do they even check out my profile which makes me think they don't exist)........BUT I do think he has a valid point with marriage. I think a committed relationship is what we (meaning I) should strive for. Where I used to think marriage is the prize (back in my 20's and early 30's) I now absolutely think it's finding a compatible partner. Whether that leads to marriage is not the goal. The goal (for me) is finding a great guy to spend my time.

http://www.yourtango.com/201180435/eharmony-founder-says-dont-get-married

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I'm So Ahead Of The Times

Thanks to my friend Brigid for sending this to me! Makes my dating hiatus decision seem validated.

http://www.yourtango.com/201179341/why-you-should-take-break-dating-summer

Mystery Smile

Today I am walking around with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. I'm trying to make it seem like I'm happy and in a good mood (which I am not). Most of the time (from my own perception) I walk around oblivious with *maybe* a scowl on my puss (that's FACE gutter people). I almost want it to seem like I've got myself a secret. Fancy, right?

I am not caught up on the Bachelorette but I just watched the Bently leaving episode. It was great TV but SO planned. Like the Producers didn't know this would happen when they cast him?! It's so contrived but I still love it. And that Ashley. Oy. She's annoying. If I were a dude she would so not be my type (It's probably good to know what my lady type would be, right?). I'd be more into an Angelie Jolie type - independent and not needy. (To be honest: Never have I thought about the type of lady I'd be interested in until this writing but now that I know I'm all set.)

I do like the fact that Ashley told JP that she just wanted to relax and came out looking like a JR High girl with her pj's and glasses. Did she purposely mess up her hair to look disheveled when she came back? Wasn't a change of clothes enough? All she needed was a retainer and I'm sure JP was good to go.

OK...so.....that's all I got.

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Just A Quick How Do Ya Do

Really have no news. Taking a dating break. Still on hiatus folks.

Have a couple stragglers still texting or calling but I don't consider them real playas. I am enjoying not stressing about dating. I still think about it....a lot....but I'm not stressing. I'm actually really enjoying myself and have a crazy, jam packed calendar already for the summer.

I don't quite have it all....but I have enough.

Date Me (maybe....maybe not....)

Exactly!

This is what I've been talking about, People! It may be Onionized but it be true!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/05/national-dating-standards-lowered_n_871471.html

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What If....

What if you meet a guy and you kind of click with him?
What if you think he's cute?
What if you think he's caring?
What if you think he has a great personality?

WHAT IF he wants you to go dutch on every date?

He hasn't paid for anything for me. Not even a drink. He's not asking me to pay for him, mind you. He doesn't make a ton of money. But I remember that Sex and The City where Steve took Miranda out for a slice of pizza because that's what he could afford. Be HE paid.....for the BOTH of them.

Do I let something like this stand in the way of getting to know a (from what I can tell) good guy?

I'm just not sure.

Date Me

Gone

Unfortunately, there was a death in my family yesterday. It was a long time coming but extremely sad, nonetheless. It was someone I loved....adored! Growing up she was the coolest person in the world to me and I LOVED visiting and would cry when I had to leave. She was the best.

Well....I now feel like I have an angel watching over me (growing up people would say I resembled her and I took it as a compliment.....like when someone told me years ago that I resembled Lucille Ball - the YOUNG Lucille). I know this sounds nuts but I believe it to be true. How else would I have been walking my dog yesterday and a fella approached me, struck up a conversation and asked for my phone number? This NEVER happens to me (unless you remember Danny Cologne - alias - oh so many years ago).

Anyway....we all mourn and grieve in our own way. I'm not a big talker about my emotions until some time has passed and then all I want to do is talk. But for now I just keep it close to the heart. But when I have my secret chats and inner dialogues I now know she'll be watching over me from above while trying to push the hair out of my eyes and smiling.

Oh....and if this doesn't get me married within a year or two then nothing else will.

I raise this pork rind to you.

Blech!

A gentleman (and I use this term VERY loosely) text messaged me the other night. No, this is not the 29 yr old but another dude that I mistakenly gave my number to (they all start out so promising what with their sincere written word and cute pics). We have never met. Well, I hadn't heard from him in months and then the other day I get a "Heyhowareyouwhat'sgoingon?" text. I respond back kind of giddy that he contacted me. We exchange some casual back and forth texts and when I mention that we should set up a time to meet I don't hear back. Then the next night....or should I say MORNING I get the first text at 12:42am: Hi. I don't answer as I don't keep my phones in my boudoir. Then he sends another text at 1:27am: Hi there sexxxy!!!

Oh, and this is a dude from E-Harmony that is supposed to be a more respectable site.

Gross. I mean COME ON! Who are these idiots?? I guess I have to give him credit for the triple x in sexy, right? But really.....are any guys looking for a real relationship? Any cute dudes or are they all fine with random hook ups because they can probably get them? What happened to courtship and relationships? I know they still exist because a lot of my friends have them. But I also think they're becoming few and far between because there's so much candy being manufactured. Well....I'm no Twix, fellas. I'm a LADY. I want a relationship. I don't need your XXX.....just 1 X will do just fine.

Date me....or don't.....whatever!

Taking A Break

Went out on a coffee date last week and it just about did me in. I think I'm done looking. I'm sure I'll get the itch again but for now I'm done. DONE. I may have 1-2 residual meet and greets from a couple dudes I've been corresponding with but won't be shocked if neither of them follow through.

This whole process has been draining. I just want to enjoy my summer. I'm busy with work. I ran a half marathon (holla!). I'm getting new headshots and hope to pursue some on-camera work and I'm planning a trip to Italy. That's all I can handle for now.

And honestly, if one more guy that I've met/gone out with re-connects with me to tell me how great I am and that I'll find the one soon initiates this convo I'm gonna lose it. If I was/am so great then why didn't you want to be with me? Yeah....I'm fantastic and you're an ass.

They say once you stop looking is when you'll find the person. Hmm....we'll see if this is the case.

Like Oprah I'm done. Unlike Oprah I will not be holding a big party for myself with Beyonce and Madonna at the United Center. Though something I'll keep in my back pocket.

Do Not Date Me! (there!)

You've Got To Be Shitting Me!

The 29 yr old Texter has struck again! 2 minutes ago.

Hey! How r u doing tonight?

HOW AM I DOING TONIGHT??? FINE A-Hole. STOP TEXTING ME!

Actually.....I'm just not responding. But the aforementioned is what I'd like to write.

Also...the dude that asked me to visit his family for his birthday is no longer. No, he's not dead but I know he's done with me. No response to my 2 texts. I get it. Donezo. And honestly.....I'm totally fine about it. But I'll still never understand how last week he was asking me to celebrate his b-day with his family in Wisconsin and then he goes MIA. In a way I'm glad that I can't understand it because I never want to be like that. Good luck to ya!

I'm actually in a great mood. Huh.

date me!

Time To Meet The Parents?

I have been asked to accompany the dude I've been seeing to visit his parents for his birthday. I am unsure if I am ready for this step. As it happens, I have a prior engagement so couldn't sleep over (Yes! He wants me to spend the night at his P's....um.....huh?!) but may be driving up the next day for a family brunch (they don't live in IL). Now mind you....we are not yet Boyfriend/Girlfriend. We are both still seeing (or trying to, in my case) other people. I honestly don't know how I feel about this step as I'm not sure if this is "the one" for me. Do I still go? Does it matter? I'm perplexed.

date me!

I Made A Mistake And Now I Have To Live With It Forever

Last year I made the mistake in agreeing to go out with a guy....because he was young. 28 or 29....can't remember. I was flattered that he was interested. He was/is a filmmaker and production assistant. Worked on some reality tv shows in LA and moved back to IL. Sounds right up my alley, right? WRONG. The dude is a mess! A MESS! He's socially very awkward. We met for coffee and after that I received numerous text messages from him. I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't interested (10/20/2010 Sent this to him: You are a really nice guy but unfortunately are not the right guy for me. I wish you all the best!). To this day he is STILL contacting me. We met October 18th 2010. It is now 5/2/2011.

I get random texts like these:
10/25/2010 4:26pm: Hey yo! How are you doin? (My response: Good. Hope you are well.) Crazy Dude: Yeah, I'm OK. Tired and sick. (My response: Oh no. Fell better soon.) Crazy Dude: Thanks. And again, if you ever need anything from me please let me know. (My response: Will do. Thanks!)

10/25/2010 5:54pm: You good tonight? (My response: NOTHING)
AFTER THE WHOLE TEXT EXCHANGE AN HOUR BEFORE HE SENDS ANOTHER TEXT. IS HE DERANGED????

10/25/2010 6:35pm: How r u doing tonight? (My response: Good, thanks) Crazy Dude: Ok. Please contact me in the future. (My response: NOTHING)

11/6/2010 10:14pm: Hey! It's Rick. How r u doin' tonight? (My response: NOTHING)

12/10/2010 8:17pm: Hey! What r u up to tonight? Wanna hang out? (My response: Sorry I can't....already out with friends. Have a nice night.) Crazy Dude: U 2. If you wanna hang out later tonight, let me know. :-) (My response: NOTHING)

3/30/2011 6:12pm: Hey u. How's it going? (My response: NOTHING)

5/2/2011 10:44pm: Hey Hey! What you doing right now? (My response: You really need to stop texting me. You seem like a nice guy but I'm not interested in hanging out. I'm sorry) Crazy Dude: I understand. Just wondering if u need anything tonight? (My response: NOTHING)

WTF would I need at 11pm???? And honestly, I don't think this is sexual in nature. I think he means like if I need a bowl of soup.....or a hammer. The guy is deranged. Am I reading this wrong? Who contacts someone every 1-2 months to see if someone needs something from them? We met for 30 minutes last year. THAT IS ALL. I'm honestly perplexed.

date me!

Put A Fork In The Comedian, I'm Done

Have you ever been out with a guy (or a dame, for that matter) that made (or tried to) a joke about EVERYTHING? Like everything had a funny voice attached to it or a joke comment? Well folks....tonight was my night. It was like I was at the guy's stand up routine. Nothing....and I repeat NOTHING he said was matter of fact. It all had a little punch line or "funny" comment attached. The worst was when he busted out his British accent (due to the Royal wedding) and everything was said in said accent.....throughout the whole night. This is the second time (if you'll remember) that a fake accent was busted out during a first date. Irish was a couple months ago. So I guess I was due for another.

In addition to the "waka waka" he also kept looking at, what I thought was, my left boob. But it's not like it was out. He would say something and then casually peak down to my chest and then catch me staring at him and look back up. Hey bub, keep the peepers at eye level!

But the kicker was he lied about his height and his one "good picture" must have been taken at least 7-8 yrs ago. The other pics he had on his profile were "far away" shots. He said he was 5'8" but I'm guessing he was 5'6". The height compounded with the personality was a total deal breaker. I was dying to go home. But then he ordered another drink. Ugh. I hate that. You're driving and we've just met (we both said this would be a quick meet and greet). Isn't one beer enough?

Honestly....this whole dating thing is EXHAUSTING! I think I'm done for awhile. If the dude that I've been out with 5 times returns from his vacay and wants to seriously date me, I'm all in. If he's not interested I'm just gonna take a break. I've got running/training on my brain anyway.

I complete me. Take that Jerry McGuire!

date me (I'm over it!)

Again With The Old Men

Today I met an old (er) dude for coffee. I knew I wasn't going to like him (I could tell from his pics and profile) but he's in the advertising field and we knew some of the same people. His skin was like dark worn leather. Literally, he was a black white man. It was odd. Again, sitting down and talking with a 50 yr old makes me think I'm dating my father....or Uncle John. It's just....not my gig. He seemed to be trying really hard. Too hard. But he was pleasant. I'm referring my cleaning woman to him. She's da bomb. Never hurts to get her some work.

He already asked me to get together again. What am I going to say, "no"? He then asked me what I like to do (this was as I was putting my coat on). "So, do you like to go to concerts? Like, listen to music?" Again.....I felt weird. I didn't feel like sharing too much with him. I answered, "No, more like theater. OK then.....have a great day and thanks for meeting me."

Am I a lost cause? I think I answered my own question.

DATE ME?

Oh Lord

I think I just had the best IM exchange with a guy who kept insisting that I was a man and that the site we are both on is not a gay site. It was HILARIOUS. (As I have mentioned before: I am not a fan of the IM but this was like a car accident.....I could not look away) I kept saying to him that if he's a guy insisting that I'm a guy and he contacted me then he's obviously gay. If I were a guy I could do so much better than his lame ass. Our convo went on for 5 or so mins and then I got really bored with it. But it was amusing while it lasted. I think I'd be a great guy.....and if I were a gay guy?! Well, watch out dudes cuz I'd be unstoppable.

The Make or Break date tonight actually showed promise. He leaves for vacation on Saturday but we *might* have something.....still unsure because a lot of what he does and says bothers me to no end.....but the good thing about tonight was that I got a couple drinks in me and told him what bothered me and that seemed to help immensely. And I think he may be the type of guy who will work on those things, so......we could have a winner, folks. But again....I won't see him for 2 weeks or so......so this could be over before you know it BUT he seems eager to have me as his GF. AND he said I challenge him. And that, my friends.......is a pretty big plus in my book.

This day has been NUTS!

Date Me!

Hello Pretty Lady

I don't get it. Why would a guy like this (in Hobart, IN):

I am a Christian man seeking a romantic minded Christian woman to start out as friends and hopefully build a meaningful relationship... walk together in life and be best friends. Quality time in relationships is important to me. I listen to Christian radio to inrich my soul.....

Send me this:

Hello pretty lady,

You described me in your profile and you possess qualities I am looking for in a woman. On this huge planet we live in, do you think our two worlds could collide? I am interested in you,

This Jewish lady is not a fan.

DATE ME!

Thoughts

A few things on my mind:

• I hate when I don't get a proper hand massage when getting a manicure. Just applying lotion does not cut it in my book. Work the hands, ladies.
• I've been talking to a lot of "grass is always greener" friends. They're married. And they think my grass is green. Huh.
• I have a 5th and crucial date this eve. It's definitely a make or break. I have a feeling it'll be break but he may surprise me. I *hope* he'll surprise me.
• Last night my dog slept right between my face and chest area. It was a total spooning situation going on and it made me very pleased. Seriously....men are overrated.
• I've been seeing a lot of shows (friends' plays and such) lately. So far they average out to a C-. Who's doing really excellent work in Chicago? Seeing another one on Thursday. I have high hopes.
• I've got to get motivated to run farther distances. I wonder when this motivation will set in. 1/2 marathon is only a few weeks away. OY!
• A dude on E-Harm went all the way to level 4 with me (the final level before open communication....oooh...) and then I sent him a brief email and he closed me. What up with that?! Why go through all the trouble of "getting to know me" to then close me....within a day from the email? I must have written something really offensive....like "Hi - It's been nice getting to know you."
  
• I'm not looking for a job but a good one was forwarded to me by my friend so I applied. Just like the E-Harm guy I was rejected.....rejected within 30 minutes of submittal. Huh. Lots of "We're not interested" going on this past week.
  

And so it goes......

DATE ME!

Online Dating Authority

This evening I'm getting interviewed about online dating. A subject near and dear to my heart (maybe too near and too dear). Maybe I'll become the go to authority on the subject? I've certainly been at it off and on for many a year.

I had my 3rd date with the relationship guy last night and all seems to be going well. We were actually supposed to meet today for lunch but my sched just didn't allow it. Next date is Thursday eve. I like him. But I'm very guarded. I told him as much. He seemed to be cool with this. He's going away on a family vacay next Saturday so that could change everything. Out of site out of mind? After this Thursday I can only see him again next Tuesday and then not again for 2 weeks so who knows.

He wears a lot of cologne. But I'm trying not to notice.

He's cute....in a thinner John Belushi kind of way. I don't think he'd be too pleased with this assessment. If he's reading this he may dump me but I don't think he knows about it. Hmm.....

I do enjoy my time with him but I still don't have that, "I want to see you all the time" feeling. Maybe I'll never have that again? Not sure. I find fault in every dude I go out with. I'm a tough customer. But I'm *trying* to just go with it. I want to have a boyfriend again. I miss it.

Other than him I'm lining up a couple other things. Gotta keep those eggs in the basket as if the basket only has one egg and it breaks then we have a situation.

Date Me!

My How Time Has Flown

A few updates:

There were a couple of guys I had gone out on multiple dates with and both of these dudes are HIStory. I don't think any of us felt a true connection.

Recently I've been out a couple of times with a guy that I *sense* wants me to be his lady. We shall see. In a way it's kinda scary to think someone who SEEMS normal could want me as his gal pal. We've only been out a couple of times but have another date planned and if it were up to him we would be spending weekends together. I don't know if I feel it with him but I guess only time will tell.

I have been single for a year now. It's crazy for me to think that so much time has passed. But when I think back to where and how I was a year ago to where/how I am now....I am pleased. I'm still not 100% happy but I'm getting there. I've been focusing a lot on ME and doing things that are out of my comfort zone and I think I'm changing into a better person. I still find it tough to open up to fellas.....I'm working on this....being open and free, ya know? Past experiences have really put the kibosh on this. But I'm trying.

So....2011 has truly been the year of DORI.

Anyone else out there celebrating my year?

DATE ME!

Are You Gonna Get The Quiche?!

Over the past couple of days I've been out with a couple of fellas and both are not right for me but one in particular stood out....for the wrong reason.

He is an ENERGETIC guy. I knew it when talking to him on the phone that we probably shouldn't have met. He was way too much. It's a shame because he's decent looking....a few years older than me....and is a gentleman. But he's too.....salesy. Kind of awkward, ya know? He was loud. Really talkative. Loved to quote movies: Like everything he brought up related back to a movie quote. He also couldn't get off the fact that I was meeting my HS girlfriends at Bakers Square to relive the magic of our youth. "Bakers Square?! Why?! Are you gonna get the quiche?!" He said this 4 times. He thought it was funny. Finally I said, "No. And I have no clue what you're talking about."

I tried to be nice. I did. And I think I was. I was with him an hour and a half but I wanted to leave right when we both stepped in the elevator and he screamed, "Well this is a coincidence. I was just in the bathroom." And then he broke into a very bad Gaelic accent as he was trying to recreate a gathering he was just at. Everyone there was Irish. This went on for 10 or so minutes....him speaking in a bad Irish accent. At the end of the night he asked me to go out again. What do you say? No? I said yes. But I won't see him again. I just can't.

So two guys are crossed off my list but I'm trying to keep the faith that my fella is out there. I am. I am.

DATE ME!

I Have No Clue What This Means...

...but I received this message today from a 50 yr old gentleman...and I liked it:

wow...you are a something girl....meaning you are asking a lot for a guy and I am not half of what you want, I even forgot all those things.......... I am just myself and I will enjoy meeting you whenever you might come to Schaumburg- Woodfield mall. I lived in Chicago for many years and I loved it. Take care of yourself and let me know when you want to meet.

DATE ME!

Dems And Dose

Last night I had a conversation with a "dems and dose" guy. Or is it Dems and does? Dems and doze? Dems and doe's? Huh. Anyway....it was an accident. As we all know, the bar is lowered. But I don't think I realized where he lived and *maybe* disregarded some poorly worded text messages and lo and behold I'm talking to a guy who is extremely inarticulate....not only that but he lives really far from me (by Oak Lawn) and has no time to even date anyone. He co-owns a restaurant (has a HS degree - no college classes at all - was in construction for years) and he lived in Greece for a year (where his family is from) but after talking to him (you can tell a lot from a "phone interview") on the horn I couldn't wait to be done. Oh...he also hates the Bears and roots against most Chicago teams even though he's been living here for many years. He also didn't ask me any questions. I honestly couldn't wait to get off the phone with him. AND his name is Jimmy. Does that bring up a red flag for anyone else? Jimmy? Not Jim or James.....but JIMMY?

I have a couple dates lined up for this week and next (some I've been out with a couple times before) but as I've been saying: personality and intelligence (sarcastic wit) are key for me. Having a hard time finding this! There's one guy I've been out with a few times who's a looker but he's SO boring! No personality. But he's easy on the eyes.

Still out there looking for "the one". Is he out there? I'm honestly not sure he is. But I do know he's not one of youse guys. Use guys? You's guys? Eh. fugetaboutit!

DATE ME!

Anyone Have One Of These?

Did you ever have a guy email you off and on for about 8 or so months but won't call you? He won't return the calls I've placed to him (even though he told me to call him) and hasn't asked me out but keeps telling me we should meet and how he can't believe we haven't thus far? Is he married? Mentally derranged? What? He also found my Linkedin profile and was checking me out there. I never gave him my last name but coincidently enough he contacted me in 2008 while I was at my former company to discuss meeting me for a job opportunity, however he really didn't bring the kind of skills we needed for any of our positions. Could he be nuts.....slow.....I just don't know.....

The really weird thing is he follows up with me via text or email every couple of weeks when I've kind of given up on him to rekindle the dialogue. I'm just not going to answer him the next time he contacts me. If he wants a piece of this he's going to have to call and ask me out. Enough of these dumb games. Ovah it!

DATE ME!

A Non-Dating Entitlement Issue

One more thing that is bothering me....since I'm in "a mood".....

I have been getting quite a few emails from folks on Linkedin and Facebook telling me "I need to help them find a job." This is from people I know and don't know. Um.....are you paying me? That'd be a big NO. I love helping people. I do. And I always try to do it. But I've been getting really frustrated lately because I think people are way too entitled (and folks don't realize that my time is valuable and I have quite a few things going on). Don't expect my assistance. Ask for it. I don't *need* to help anyone. And I can't help everyone (though I'd like to try). For some reason I feel like everyone needs my help....needs me to run the show....wants me to take the lead in a relationship......but when is it my turn to be taken care of? When is someone going to help me?! I don't ask for it. Maybe that's my prob. I think people should ask if they can help me just like they ask what I can do for them. I always offer my assistance to people. Always. But I think a lot of folks just feel that entitlement like they're owed assistance without working for something or paying it forward. Well, to you I say "bullocks!"

DATE ME!

Impersonal Misters

I am currently carrying on text relationships with 5 guys. FIVE! I have gone out with a couple of them and some I haven't met as of yet. I don't consider any of these real relationships because none of them (well....not none but almost none) use the phone anymore. What happened to getting to know someone by a phone call and in person? Are dudes just lazy nowadays? Do they really have no desire to go out but rather *think* that they're actively pursuing someone by texting? I have no clue but I have to say it's really annoying. I am not a phone person. Not at all. But I'll tell you.....I appreciate it. I now really desire talking to someone as most of these guys don't want to use the phone. How do you get to know someone without talking to them and meeting them in person? I've been out with one of these dudes twice (no chemistry as I don't even KNOW him as all we do is text and meet for coffee (where he only drones on about himself and asks me no questions and/or follow-up questions about me) and text some more). He text messaged me today and in a roundabout way told me he wasn't doing anything tonight. When I told him I was "laying low" tonight he texts, "Oh...I should have texted you earlier to see what you were up to." TEXTED ME EARLIER?? WHY? TO NOT ASK ME OUT? TO NOT HAVE TO PICK UP THE PHONE AND GET TO KNOW ME? SO ANNOYING! Now, don't get me wrong...once I know someone and like them (or for family members and friends when you just want to ask a quick question or say "hello") texting is fine but when I've either never met you or gone out once?? PICK UP THE DARN PHONE AND GIVE ME A CALL! How is anyone building a relationship nowadays? I have no clue.

Another guy asked for my digits yesterday and then said, "Do you enjoy texting?" I didn't answer him (In my profile it plainly states I am not looking for an email and/or text buddy. If you're interested pick up the phone, let's have a quick chat and ASK A GIRL OUT). Today I received numerous texts from him with no mention of him giving me a call. Over it!

This dating world is in the crapper. In the crapper, I tell you. Hrumph!

DATE ME!

Maybe The Lunatic Is Right?

What is it with guys pursuing me....telling me they want to talk to me/meet me and then going MIA? Why even go after me? Why take the lead and say you want to get to know me and then never follow up? I know the Lunatic was/is a lunatic but in a way I understand that he's frustrated. I'm frustrated too. Or going out with a guy and then him sending text after text after the date but never picking up the phone to call or ask me out again. Why continue to text me? Why say you're interested if you're obviously not? Who cares? Just don't send me a text after we meet. Don't ask for my number if you never intend to call. I mean....come on. Maybe this is the way dudes are doing it in 2011? Is this the future of dating? Are guys just lazy? Are they all disinterested? If this is the future, I want no part of it. I'd rather go out with my friends. The prob is, I can't decipher who's a good guy and who's a chain yanker anymore. They all start out with potential and then after a couple of days they turn into total douche bags....or cheese dicks as the Lunatic had mentioned. It's very disheartening to say the least.

Just had to get this off my chest....my flat, flat chest.....

DATE ME!

The Lunatic

I was supposed to have a date last night with a dude that just moved to Chicago a couple months ago. He sent me an email and I responded and he admitted to sending a lot of emails out and not getting a huge ROI. I guess this should have been my first clue that he was gonna be a problem.

He doesn't know the city well and made mention that he'd take a cab to me as long as it wasn't "too far". I told him I'd just take the bus to him as it'd be easier. He came back and sent numerous text messages clarifying that he felt bad and would come to me. I told him it was no big deal....three times. I had asked him to call me and he never did but I was gonna meet him anyway (for 1 hr as I made mention - a "meet and greet") as my bar is lowered and I gotta take what I can get.

Yesterday I was at work and before I left I checked the site to re-read his profile and another guy who I had talked to months ago sent me an email so we were corresponding. I logged off and got on the el. I checked my phone and saw he had sent me an email through the site (which I don't access through my phone) so I didn't think much of it. Thought it was a "See you later" email.

I get off the el and get in my car to pick up my dog at daycare and get home at 6:20pm or so. I notice that I have 3 consecutive text messages from him (sent at 5:24pm). Now, mind you, we had already confirmed our plans for last night. Basically they said "You're just like all the rest. You're probably talking to 40 guys (I WISH I was talking to FOUR guys let alone FORTY) I knew you wouldn't meet me." etc. WTF??!!! I was honestly floored. I sent him a text saying I was very confused and I thought we were all set for 7:30pm and I'm just reading these texts now as I didn't have my phone on for awhile and blah, blah, blah.....Well, long story short, he felt like an ass and said he was sorry. I told him I was sorry as well and after reading his texts decided not to meet him. He said he understood.

Then today I listened to a vm message he must have sent yesterday...not sure of the time...basically telling me that I'm a horrible person and that I probably wasn't going to meet him anyway (that I set it up but was going to bail...if he only knew) and that I probably wouldn't have liked him anyway.

THEN I see he has updated his profile today with these words of wisdom. I honestly think he could be a murderer. He's for sure VERY angry at the ladies and I'm lucky I never met him:

None of this matters because none of you ladies will go any farther than sifting thru your scores of messages from cheese-dick, douche bag guys without shirts; standing in front of the mirror. I know it pumps up your ego's...you probably desperately need it since you're coming off a recently shattered relationship. Im coming off one too, but I don't do any of that shit. Some normal time with a woman doing some normal, fun activities is fine with me. I'd settle for 1 woman at a time too. I don't feel the need to juggle several women at once, lying and saying I can't go out this night or that night so I can squeeze in other dates!
Pisses me off when you all think I'm dumb enough to believe that shit. You tell me you have to change our date to another night on the phone and then I see that your online chatting with someone else. Then I send you a P.O.F. message to you while you're online chatting w/ someone else...you stop chatting, never answer my message and quickly log off.
That's friggin' lame. If you meet someone on here that you're interested in, then you shouldn't be screwing around making plans with other people until you decide wether you really are interested or not. Until then, cut the crap! Just cuz you get 50 messages a day from cheese-dick guys that are juggling as many women as they can anyway...you can't decide who you like better, so you can't help but chat w/ the ***holes, b/c you're ego is so "thrilled" with all the messages you're getting.
You're all doing it. Every woman I've met on here was doing it. I could tell. I'm not retarded. SO F.U., Show me that you have a little integrity and that you look good enough for a guy at my "level". I know Im not physically perfect, or even close to it. However, I know I'm a fairly decent looking guy, so I'm not going to date a woman who's not a fairly decent looking girl. Plus she should have the moral standards I just described.

I KNOW I'm a great catch. I'm smart. Have a good career. Great future. You can actually talk to me and I'll actually talk back. I'm certainly not vain...yet moderately refined and polite. There's no reason why I'd have to ask out over 100 women before I get a yes...Which is the case. I'd love for one of you to tell me why I'm not (outside of the fact that I'm writing negative in my my profile.).

Get your heads outta yer asses and realize that some perfect 10 guy with intelligence, humor and even money isn't gonna appear in your inbox! A decent 7 guy with the above qualities most likely already HAS appeared in the inbox of every woman that is a 7 or better in the greater Chicago, Buffalo, NY and Rochester, NY areas over the last year. However you all wouldn't date me...prob. cuz you're waiting for someone out of your league or b/c ur ego is inflated etc.
None of what Im writing here even matters cuz none of you gals will lift a finger to do a search and write a guy. Yet, chances are, I probably wouldn't want to be w/ a person like you anyway

He's a catch, right? RIGHT!

DATE ME!

Chesty

I am not a fan of the Online Dating IM feature. Rarely do I IM anyone.

Tonight I got this very special IM:

Chi60613: Hi H
Chi60613: Hi Hun (HUN?! Attila the Hun???)
**SILENCE......did not respond - had no pic**
Chi60613: Never mind. You're flat chested anyway.

WHAT????? If he only knew! I've got a major rack. Totally made me laugh so I had to share.

It's tough out there. Please wear protective gloves.

DATE ME!

I'm Lucky

.....I'm lucky because I was "favorited" by a 51 yr old Anglican (Anglican????) with the profile name of WienerProf. So....he's a wiener professor....specializing in hot dogs or penises? Either way, WHY ARE THESE THE GUYS THAT ARE INTERESTED IN ME? Am I giving off a wiener prof vibe in my profile? Do my pictures say WIENER? I'm very perplexed.

I will ponder this all day and if I come across any answers I will let you know.

Oh....and in his profile there is no mention to his odd name. I guess some girls are attracted to and by the wiener.

DATE ME!

The Old Guy

Well, it happened. Tonight I met a man that was old.....er....and like I imagined, I was not into it. As soon as he walked in I could only think, "I am about to have coffee with my father. Oh Lord help me."

He was nice enough....interesting....but there was just zero attraction/chemistry on my end. I'm not meant to be with someone 8-10 yrs older than me. I'm just not. I know I only tried it once but I think it was all I needed to confirm my theory. Now, check in with me in another 5 yrs and I may be singing a different tune but for this stage in my life I'm sticking with what I like and that's guys that don't have to *act* young and cool because they are young and cool.

Also, he kept leaning into me like he wanted to tell me secrets and that just made me retract and lean back farther. I didn't need to know his secrets.

Also Also, his hair may or may not have been a toupee but if it wasn't it should have been because no man should be rocking that mop top. In addition, there was definitely a dye job going on.

And thus begins my slow demise.......

DATE ME!

Getting My Chain Yanked

So....the MIA dude emails me at 11am today and apologizes as his week has been crazy but he's free to go out tonight. Tonight?! This is after I told him twice that I am not available tonight. Oh...and he started off the email "Hi Sweetie" (I envisioned Kim from the Real Housewives of Atlanta greeting me as "Sweetie!").

Chain Yanker!

DATE ME!

MIA

I'll never understand.....

You go out with someone...twice.....they send you an email the next day about what a nice time they had.....and then they go MIA. MIA! WTF?! So disappointing. I have to admit that my hopes got a bit raised after the email. I thought this one kinda liked me and then....nuthin'. I'm beyond frustrated. I hate dating. HATE IT! This is why people stay in crappy relationships because the alternative is dealing with this nonsense. Ugh. I have a few dates lined up this week but I really thought I could have canceled at least one of them. Now I need to go on all three. Blech. Yes, this is like a job hunt for me. One day I'll find the right job. Until then......I'll continue to set up interviews.

DATE ME!

Bieber Fever

Justin Bieber's parents are 34 and 35 yrs old respectively. OK....I officially feel like I'm a hundred. I'm closer to being the Bieb's grandmother than mother. Oy!

Date Me! (I know this post is pretty attractive to prospective dates)

Question - Dating Etiquitte

If a guy contacts you first and he lives in the suburbs and you live in Chicago, do you think for a first meeting he should offer to come to you? What if he wants to meet 1/2 way and that half way happens to be 45 mins away? Do you think this would ever work?

I need your input!

Date Me!

Well, Aren't You Cute?

I went out with a fella the other night (it was actually a second date) and he made mention to the fact that he is looking for a "cute girl - she doesn't have to be beautiful - just cute"......and then he reiterated it, "You know.....like I said....I'm looking for cute - not gorgeous". Quite obviously he was referring to me. Should I be offended? I wasn't at the time but the more time that goes by I am kind of hurt. I know I'm no Elizabeth Hurley (guys still dig her, right?.....um.....maybe Megan Fox....or Penelope Cruz?) but do I have to be reminded of this? I really don't think he set out to hurt me. And I too like a "cute" guy. I love the boyish look....but I wouldn't tell the person I'm sitting across from at dinner *twice* that I am only interested in cute as opposed to devilishly handsome (however, if Rob Lowe walked into my life today I would be ever so pleased.....people, I have a thing...).

So....this is my dilemma. I enjoy this guy's company quite a bit but I don't want to be anyone's second banana. Actually, most guys that I've dated have never called me "beautiful" or "pretty" so I don't know why this is bothering me so much. And it's no pity party....I know what I look like - it is what it is (a phrase that I used on my date and he in turn told me that he really dislikes the phrase so I will use it in my DOG as a form of protest) but I can still be affected, right?

Date Me!

Hey, I Know You. I Know You. I Know You.

Today it happened. I was contacted by a guy I worked with at Midway Games. I knew this would happen eventually and I have to say.....it made me think.

If I was single during my time at Midway I believe I would have dated a lot. There were tons of dudes that I worked with....tons. I always had the ladies bathroom to myself (and let me tell you.....it was delightful). Most of these guys are game nerds but come on....they're quirky cute....a lot of them....and then a lot were just nerds....but nerds with a heart of gold....and C++ code.

Anyway....at first I was a bit embarrassed but then I realized that Internet dating is so commonplace nowadays that I just need to let my freak flag fly. Let these dudes find me. What do I care? My goal is to find a life long partner and get off of there so if that means someone that I know wants to hang out....then bring it on!

Hopefully, we'll actually go on a date cuz he's cute.

Waiting for a guy I went out with earlier this week to ask me out again. He's also cute and we get along well.

I've got it.....the Spring Fever....and it's not even Spring!

Date Me!

Family Fix Ups

Mentioning the sister stache fix up made me remember that all of my immediate family have fixed me up. These fix ups were one-offs and have not happened again since my early 20's.

Father Fix Up: I was a Sophomore at Illinois State University and home for Winter break and for a year or so I had heard about how great "Dan Simon" was (please note that although I quote "Dan Simon" there is no doubt that his name is and was Dan Simon. This is not an alias.) from my father. Finally, I agreed to go out on a date with this "Dan Simon". He arrived at my home and I remember my mother's reaction, "He looks like he could be her uncle". I was 20-21 at the time. Not only could "Dan Simon" have been my uncle (he was probably only 28 at the time but looked a bit older) but he had a tail......not a butt tail but a hair tail. I think at one time tails were popular but they were never my gig and this tail he was sporting was definitely not in the "it's cool to sport a tail" era. We went to the Hob Nob for dinner. I remember being miserable. I just wasn't attracted to him at all so to punish myself even more I ordered a spinach salad with no dressing because if I was going to be miserable I was going to be really miserable (one wonders why I need therapy). After dinner we went to see a movie. I believe it was "Naked Gun" or some other Leslie Nielsen movie. After the movie was over we were walking out and who do I see but this guy who I went to HS and College with and actually had made out with, Mike Archibald. I was mortified. How would I explain being with this guy who looked like my uncle with the tail? So....I pretended he wasn't with me. I AM AWFUL! I just talked to Mike like I was alone. Needless to say, I couldn't wait to get home. Me being a beeaatch to "Dan Simon" didn't stop him from telling my father that he really liked me. I think my father had visions of walking me down the aisle to meet "Dan Simon" but alas, I just couldn't see him again. Ironically, I got mono a few days after my date so I had a good excuse to not have to talk to him again but every time I was sad about not having a boyfriend my father would say to me, "Well, 'Dan Simon" is still available". I wonder what "Dan Simon" is up to these days....

Mother Fix Up: I had transferred to Columbia College and my roommate Darlene and I decided to have a party our senior year. We invited a lot of people and a lot of people showed up. It was actually a ton of fun! I threw one other party later that year and it wasn't nearly as good. I was excited because a guy who I worked with at Summer Camp (Scottie Paul) was going to be there. I liked Scottie (Is it Scottie or Scotty? I forget.) a lot and had done so for a full year and a half. I couldn't believe he was going to be at my abode. Now, during this time my mother worked at Office Max or Office Depot or some Office store. I think she did this for a year or two. Us Goldmans love us some office and school supplies. She told me that there's this really "sexy guy" (Everyone should run for the hills when their mother makes note that some dude is "sexy") who she works with that she wants to fix me up with. I told her to tell him to come to my party. Well, it's the night of the party and there I am in the kitchen with Scottie Paul professing my "like" for him when all of a sudden this tall "jean on jean" (jean jacket with a pair of jeans) guy with long hair walks in. Please note that my mother loves the old Jon Bon Jovi look so I can see where this guy was sexy to her. I was not attracted in the least but I was nice to him and showed him around. I really just wanted to get back to Scottie Paul. Well, I broke loose from Jean on Jean and maybe 20 minutes later or so he finds me and asks me to go to my back sun room with him. He wanted to chat so I felt obligated to do so since he was a guest who knew no one. After about 2 minutes the guy was trying to make the moves on me. He was ALL HANDS. I literally had to push him off me. We were both a little boozy but I remember being a bit frightened. Needless to say my mother calls right around this time to see how things are going. "How are things going?" I say to her. "I'll tell you how things are going.....your 'sexy' fix up just tried to rape me in the back room." Of course my mother was mortified. And "rape" was a little harsh....but he definitely tried to paw me down. I never heard from the dude again.

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Lady Flowers

You know what's great when you're not in a serious relationship over Valentine's Day? Working from home. I was not at all affected by the Hallmark holiday. It came and went. A lot of my Facebook friends posted photos of various flower bouquets that their sweeties gave them and I thought they all looked pretty. Even though I have been in long-term relationships over Valentine's Day I have only once received (was sent) flowers on this day....from a dude, that is. I used to get flowers from a gal pal of mine delivered to my place of employment and that was always awkward because everyone would ask if they were from my boyfriend and I'd have to say "no - they're from my lady friend". I'm sure a few folks had some serious questions about my "status".

I have been out on a couple dates over the last few days and both actually went well but I'm not sure what will come of them. One was with a guy I met quite a few months ago. This date went much better than the first but I still don't know if there's that spark. The other date was with a guy that could be right up my alley. Still too soon to tell. I'm hoping we'll go out again. He made mention to the fact but you never know until you have something scheduled.

Other than this I have quite a few people mentioning they have some fix ups for me. Now....I have not been fixed up in a really long time (one time about 17 yrs ago my sister fixed me up with an older guy who had a mustache and a special mustache comb....and I was 24) . I often fix a lot of my friends up (or try to) but not a lot of people return the favor. Maybe I'm not fix-up-able? In any case, at least my name is being brought up in discussion. Who knows if I'll ever actually meet these fellas but it's always nice to be thought of.

I'm enjoying the warmer weather (40 feels like a heat wave) and it'll make my running much more enjoyable. Did I mention I signed up for a half marathon? Well, I did. Lord help me, but I did.

Things are looking A-OK.....for today.

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VD

Happy Valentine's Day to all the LOVAHS out there.

Blech!

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Sincere Lady

This is a good read sent to me today by a suave gentleman. I'm telling you....the bar is set LOW.

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Sincere Lady

Feb 10, 2011 – 8:17pm Please be patient this is so awkward for me. It was your sincere profile that moved me to message and I completely understand if you don’t respond.
Some of my thoughts…. Kids are our garden to cultivate and watch grow.. I want my next relationship to be so good, so full of love, with deep understanding and nothing but sincerity for each other…. It is amazing how far out in the ocean San Francisco is….How good our domestic animals are for us they are a blessing…..unbelievable that Mick Jaeger still doing it….Poor Cubs still have no World Series how is that possible?…all those people in New York City… God Bless America is one of my favorite songs now….It cost $15 to cross the Sanibel Island Bridge….when did corrupt politics become the in thing to do?….without God we couldn’t make it another day…all I ever really needed to know I learned from my friends at 10...forget the Moon a cure for Cancer now there is a space program to fund! Sincere lady can you tell me your thoughts? It is scary and makes you vulnerable too. I understand the risk but I would be thrilled if you do.

A Couple Of Dori Nuggets

1) I was asked by a gentleman (sight unseen) if I'd like to marry him and he added (I'm not kidding). He's CUTE: 29, from Turkey and studying in Milwaukee (international biz since 2006). I'm sure this is a green card deal but honestly.....I'm not ruling it out. And I may call him a Jive Turkey just to see what his reaction will be.

2) Someone I went out with months and months ago (Romanian....and Hungarian....and CUTE) recontacted me to see if I'd like to go out again. Even though I find him really adorable I don't think we connect on a communication level....but I'm totally gonna see him again....cuz that's how I roll. He's 34.

3) Someone who loves the Lord....like, LOVES the Lord sent me a "Hi" message. When I went to read his profile, it's all about Jesus. I'm sure he saw I was Jewish (as I make no bones about it in my profile) and thinks I'm destined for Hell so he contacted me wanting me to read his words of "wisdom" to save me. I emailed him to ask if he meets a lot of girls that share his view of the Lord and wanted to reiterate that I'm Jewish and not religious. Thus far I have not heard back.

4) I was told I look like Debra Messing (who I love!).....by a broad. Why can't guys make this comment?

5) A guy that contacted me months ago but started dating another girl got back in touch with me to go out....but he hasn't set a date. I think he's yanking my chain and I don't like my chain yanked.

6) Talking to one other fella (small change) who in one of his pics is with a guy that asked me out years ago. I won't bring it up until we meet (IF we meet). I just find it a little off-putting

If you're watching the Super Bowl today I hope your team wins.....you know which team I'm talking about.....right! (Please note that I am not referring to any team as I could care less who wins: Go Bears!)

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I Want No Part Of Your Two And A Half Man

Every time I get a little down that I haven't found the right guy, I think "I could have wound up with Charlie Sheen" and that makes me feel a lot better. Now mind you, I have never met Charlie Sheen nor do I care to but my heart goes out to the women who have. This guy is a piece of work. Who could put up with him?! I think I'm hard to deal with....try dealing with a narcissistic drug fueled porn star doer as the father of your children. This guy is 45 years old. FORTY-FIVE and he acts like a 25 yr old. In fact, most 25 yr olds don't even act like that. This guy is a millionaire a million times over and what does he do with all his earnings? Spends it on coke, booze and prostitutes. And women find this attractive???? Why????!!!!

Last night I had a dream that an ex-boyfriend asked me to marry him....with a ring that had 2 small rhinestone balls on a silver band. THIS IS WHAT I DREAM?! I don't even get a good ring in my dream. I'm a mess, people...a mess....but at least I'm not dating Charlie Sheen.

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I Think I Made Eyes At a Homeless Man (Not A Joke)

This morning I was walking my dog and around the corner a gentleman approached. From a distance he seemed handsome....longish hair, tan and a bit rugged. I looked up and kind of gave him my "sparkle eyes". As he approached I got a good look: skin was really dark like he spent a lot of time outside....you know...like shoe leather rough...and the hair was tangled.....he also had a dirty beige coat and a look about him that screamed "I may kill you". I *think* he was homeless.....or down on his luck. But he was kinda cute. I'm telling you...my standards are LOW these days. L-O-W. If he would have asked, I may have bought him a coffee.

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Ad Hominem

A guy contacts me and it says he's 44. He tells me he's really 48. When I inquire as to why he didn't list his true age in his profile and telling him that I have a friend that met someone that was 8 yrs older than what he was and subsequently wasn't truthful about a few other things (I also inquired as to if his pictures are recent) he tells me he thinks I'm rude and doesn't want to continue having a conversation with me. Huh. Was I stepping over the line? Should I have just accepted that he's older than what he states and not question it? I think he has something to hide and I called him out....but maybe I'm TOO suspicious?

He also taught me a new word: ad hominem - An ad hominem (Latin: "to the man"), also known as argumentum ad hominem, is an attempt to link the validity of a premise to a characteristic or belief of the person advocating the premise.^[1] The ad hominem is a classic logical fallacy,^[2] but it is not always fallacious; in some instances, questions of personal conduct, character, motives, etc., are legitimate and relevant to the issue.<sup>[3]

But he wrote "a ad hominem" as opposed to "an ad hominem" but I knew bringing that up would really be too much. See....I'm not that bad. Am I???? Don't answer that.

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Hello Fathers

I think I'd be a great step-mom. Problem is, I rarely get contacted by guys with kids. Should I list in my actual profile the fact that I'm open to divorced fellas with rug rats (and I'd totally use this exact wording...I mean, why not, right?)? I actually would like a guy who has younger children but if he had teenagers I think I'd be OK....I think.

So...I'm putting it out there in the universe.....dudes with kids are A-OK with me. Bring it!

Ooh...also, more and more I feel that professional guys are the way to go for me. I used to think that I'd be OK with ANYONE....a tradesman.....but the more I think about it I do believe that I'm better with a white collar. But what the Hell do I know??

Boys Boys Boys Boys Boys.....

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Right On

Last night I had one of those painful, roll my eyes, I can't wait for this conversation to end calls.

A dude I had given my number to gave me a "shout out" and the convo went something like this:

Dude: Hi. I'm sorry that I can't really talk but I didn't want you to think that I'm an ass so I'm calling but I'm on my way to the gym but I just don't have a lot of time.
Me: That's OK. You can call me over the weekend or another time if that works better.
Dude: Right on. It's just that I've been bombarded by girls recently. I just joined on Saturday and I feel obligated to talk to everyone. I'm not one of those post a shirtless pic kind of guys. I'm educated and a good person. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a boyscout but I'm also not an ass.
Me: Um....you contacted me.
Dude: Right on. Let me ask you a question....there's this woman who's 10 yrs older than me and has a kid. I told her that she can come to my open mic night and within one hour she has a sitter. Well, I decide not to go because I'm so tired. Do you think I owe her anything?
Me: Um...well, a phone call would be nice to let her know that you aren't going to make it but other than that it's her choice to book a babysitter. It's probably a disappointment to her but you guys haven't met so it's not like you owe her anything. Maybe she can plan a night out with her friends?
Dude: Right on. It's just that all these women keep writing to me. I really just want to get into my jacuzzi and have a soak because it's too much.
Me: So, listen....drive safe and when you have some time give me a call.....
Dude. Right on. Ciao.

Phone number will be screened from here on out.

Dating. Is. Tough. Online Dating. Is. Really. Tough.

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I See You

I have a home date coming up. Not mine but his. So would that technically be considered an away game? In any case....I'm nervous. I think this is a big step. Is it make or break? Maybe.

When dating someone new, is seeing them once a week good or bad? I'm used to spending a lot of time with my paramour but as I've gotten older I haven't sweated more sporadic get togethers. Is this bad? Does this mean I don't like him? I fear that we can't build the kind of momentum that we need by only seeing each other once in awhile. But so far it hasn't hindered my feelings....well, maybe it has as I still haven't made up my mind if he's a keeper....and I'm going to venture a guess that he feels the same way. When do you turn the switch to see each other more often?

So....Saturday is going to be a big day for us. I can feel it.

Dating is scary. Not fun. This much I know is true.

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Hot Or Not

Have you ever been out with someone that you were confused by? Confused in the way that you weren't sure how attractive they are? A profile can really make or break a face. Turn to the left and you're pretty good looking but when you turn right it's a whole other story. I believe Seinfeld did an episode on this. I feel like I might be living a Seinfeld episode. Head on we are all good but if I catch you looking to the right then we might have a situation. I say, let's just keep all our interaction looking at each other straight on. Then we may have a shot.

It's a wonder I'm even allowed to meet potential suitors to date.

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There Is Nothing Like A Dame

You know what I enjoyed tonight? The ladies. Not like I "enjoyed" the ladies but I had some great conversations with some awesome women and it really made me happy. Good gal pals will listen, commiserate, offer advice and call you on your sh*t. Yes, Deanna....I am "jaded" but I'm HONESTLY trying not to be. In a way it gave me hope. Hope that I will find my guy. I know he's out there. I may have already met him. You never know. Tonight made up for the below email I got last night from a class act:

lol omg, if there were less superfical ppl like you, this world would be such a better place... and word of advice... lose some weight, then you wont get guys just looking to get laid.

WTF???!!!! At first I thought he was complimenting me on not being superficial (or superFICAL as he likes to spell it). But then he made mention of my weight (What a special guy, huh?!) so I was thrown. Complimentor or A-Hole?......Complimentor or A-Hole?.....Hmmmmm.....A-HOLE. Yes. I've made up my mind. He's an ASS............and I'm meeting him for a drink on Tuesday. I KID!!!! I KIDD!!!

In any case, guys like this make me jaded....but then a night like tonight makes me a little less....a teensy eensy bit less but less nonetheless.

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Young Ladies Listen Up

Please let this DOG be a warning to all you young ladies out there.....

DO NOT STAY WITH A GUY IF HE TELLS YOU HE DOES NOT SEE/MIGHT NOT SEE A FUTURE WITH YOU!

Let me reiterate: DO NOT STAY! He won't change his mind.....He won't marry you and/or see a future with you "eventually". He is just not that into you. Don't waste years of your lives on guys like this like I did. I'm 41 and SINGLE.

I have been running into a lot of dames (like myself) lately that are "women of a certain age" and either divorced or never married. Why? Because they chose the wrong guy. My life has been a huge learning experience. I'm finally realizing that I deserve more (as do all of you....all of you 2-3 readers out there). When I fall in love I fall hard....but my mistake has been blindness...and deafness. I see/saw the warning signs. I heard the declarations of "yeah....you're nice" when I proclaimed love. The avoidance when trying to discuss the future. The self proclaimed "I like being alone and will probably be a nomad for the rest of my life." And you know what happens to these guys? As soon as they break up with you they find someone else and form a lasting bond with them leaving you to feel sorry for yourself. Well....I claim ENOUGH! I'm here to teach the next generation of women that you deserve more! Stop only looking for a guy who's easy on the eyes and an unemotional imbecile and start looking for depth.....honesty, kindness.....someone that ADORES you and will always put you first. Heed my warning as I can't reiterate this enough.

OK....just had to get this off my chest.

Now....back to your regularly scheduled program.

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It's Not The Size Of The Boat It's The Motion Of The Ocean

Sometimes I take a quick moment to check my online dating sites while working if I see I received a message(s). I usually only stay on for a minute (at most) and then log right off. During this time I more than likely get an instant message from some whack job saying "hi" to me.

Today's doozy went something like this.

Idiot: Hi. Did you get my message?
Me: Um no. I'm only checking in for a minute as I'm at work and can't IM.
Idiot: Oh, because I wanted to know if you'd consider a friend with benefits situation. (Oh, we got a situation alright)
Me: Uh no. But thanks for asking.
Idiot: Really? Not even an attractive 26 year old hung guy like myself
Me: Ha! No thank you but all the best to you. (I'm sure he thought the "hung" tidbit would really perk my interest and I'm not gonna lie....for a second it did)

Anyway.....still seeing one fella that is of quite a bit of interest to me so as of this writing I'm happy. Tomorrow? Could be a whole other story.

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A New Year Of Contradictions

So it's 2011. I have a good feeling about this year. (I actually don't but I thought I'd try and fake positivity)

I'm cleaning house and also trying to build on potential possibilities.

Irons are in the fire and I hope to have some updates soon.

New decade = new attitude (Actually it's the same piss poor attitude but again....I'm a faker)

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