DUDley Do Right

So today I had lunch with a Dud. A bonafide D-U-D.

I met him in Bucktown and as I'm walking up to him I notice not one but two earrings in his ears. Now, they weren't hoops or any kind of Basketball Wife earrings (I'm sure none of you will get this reference but if you're like me - which I know most of you aren't - and you were a viewer of VH1-s Basketball Wives, you would note that those dames had some diamond hoops the size of.....well, basketball hoops) but they were studs....and there were two of them. Not a bother to me, just a "huh". He didn't highlight them on his profile pictures so they kind of threw me for a.....LOOP. Ha!

I went in for the hug because that's my usual M.O. and he kind of gave me the fish hand pat on the back. BAD!

We sat down for lunch and after asking him some questions and kind of settling in I noticed that unless I would keep the conversation going that we were going to sit in complete silence! AWKWARD. So I had to really think and the fact that I was not feeling well (think I have yet another bought of food poisoning!) but had to really concentrate did not bode well for me. We ordered and after the food arrived I could only eat half and then had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Now, it wasn't a catastrophe or anything like that so I didn't take a long time. I came back to the table (noticed he had finished his meal) and I again initiated conversation (not once did he ask me a follow up question or what my view was so I stopped divulging anymore about me and just kept it all about him). He then excused himself to go to the bathroom when the waitress brought the check over. I waited a minute or two and then just paid (I had used one of my Groupons and then threw in an extra $5 bones for tax and tip which was cheap but still! and just wanted to be done with it). I told him I paid and he took a beat and then nonchalantly said, "OK....thanks for lunch". Needless to say I was DONE. We got outside and I would have given him another hug but frankly, he didn't deserve it so we both just stared at each other and finally I said...."Take care" and turned around and went on my merry way.

He's 36. Has a job (Music teacher) and seemed to be relatively intelligent.....but he had NO game and obviously no sense of humor. It wasn't a waste of my time as I'm learning a lot about what I want and don't want on these dates but I can definitely chalk it up to one of the dullest and quickest dates of my life (though tea about 6 years ago with a life coach was the shortest: 15 mins).

I wonder if OakParkmusicguy is writing about me in his DOG? Maybe.

DATE ME!