DUDley Do Right

So today I had lunch with a Dud. A bonafide D-U-D.

I met him in Bucktown and as I'm walking up to him I notice not one but two earrings in his ears. Now, they weren't hoops or any kind of Basketball Wife earrings (I'm sure none of you will get this reference but if you're like me - which I know most of you aren't - and you were a viewer of VH1-s Basketball Wives, you would note that those dames had some diamond hoops the size of.....well, basketball hoops) but they were studs....and there were two of them. Not a bother to me, just a "huh". He didn't highlight them on his profile pictures so they kind of threw me for a.....LOOP. Ha!

I went in for the hug because that's my usual M.O. and he kind of gave me the fish hand pat on the back. BAD!

We sat down for lunch and after asking him some questions and kind of settling in I noticed that unless I would keep the conversation going that we were going to sit in complete silence! AWKWARD. So I had to really think and the fact that I was not feeling well (think I have yet another bought of food poisoning!) but had to really concentrate did not bode well for me. We ordered and after the food arrived I could only eat half and then had to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. Now, it wasn't a catastrophe or anything like that so I didn't take a long time. I came back to the table (noticed he had finished his meal) and I again initiated conversation (not once did he ask me a follow up question or what my view was so I stopped divulging anymore about me and just kept it all about him). He then excused himself to go to the bathroom when the waitress brought the check over. I waited a minute or two and then just paid (I had used one of my Groupons and then threw in an extra $5 bones for tax and tip which was cheap but still! and just wanted to be done with it). I told him I paid and he took a beat and then nonchalantly said, "OK....thanks for lunch". Needless to say I was DONE. We got outside and I would have given him another hug but frankly, he didn't deserve it so we both just stared at each other and finally I said...."Take care" and turned around and went on my merry way.

He's 36. Has a job (Music teacher) and seemed to be relatively intelligent.....but he had NO game and obviously no sense of humor. It wasn't a waste of my time as I'm learning a lot about what I want and don't want on these dates but I can definitely chalk it up to one of the dullest and quickest dates of my life (though tea about 6 years ago with a life coach was the shortest: 15 mins).

I wonder if OakParkmusicguy is writing about me in his DOG? Maybe.

DATE ME!

The Robyn Effect

I went out with a cute gentleman the other night and as we're conversing, I noticed that he kept bringing up his "friend". "My FRIEND and I are looking to start our own company. "That's funny because that's what my FRIEND tells me." "I usually meet my FRIEND Wednesday nights after Boot Camp." And then....my FRIEND became Robyn. Robyn this and Robyn that. He has a work wife. (My friend KCos has a work husband so I kind of stole this from her but am giving her props for the usage) But I often think that men who are that close to women (one woman) have to like them. Don't they? Now, supposedly she's engaged or getting engaged so she's probably not interested in him but who knows. But I'll bet you anything that this fella is looking for someone (and probably won't stop until he finds her) just like his dear old friend Robyn. He feels comfortable with her. In his eyes she can probably do no wrong. She makes him laugh. She's.....ROBYN.

How can I or any girl compete with that?

I usually date guys that have other guys as their besties. I've been told by the guys that I date that they prefer that I am not as close with men as I am with women. I have a few close guy friends...friends that I cherish and would never "go there" with but my best friends are women. And I don't have one guy bestie that rules my universe so I'm curious about this.

Not sure if I'll see this guy again (hope I will but you never know) but if I do I will definitely be on heightened awareness every time R is mentioned.

DATE ME!

One Is The Lonliest Number.....But Also The Target Number

It only takes one. That's been my mantra and what I try to keep reminding myself as I go on this LONG journey to find love. ONE. Doesn't seem tough, right? Well you know what?? It is! It freaking is!

I wish we could all just click with...everyone. But we don't. I sure don't. So it's disappointing every time I think I've found a potential suitor to come to find that we are not a match. It's oh so disappointing. The pool keeps dwindling......maybe it's a puddle now? I don't know.

I do think the invention of Skype and iChat really help in the whole dating/wasting your time process. Anyone that is on the fence about someone? SKYPE EM! You'll find out really quickly if they're right for you.

In any case....I have to keep finding joy in other aspects of my life to not become too jaded about the whole thing. Luckily, I've been keeping really busy and feel like I have a much more social life than when I was in a relationship. Some of it's forced socialization but a lot of it is me wanting to go out and be with different people. I've met some really great new friends and still love all my old ones.

One of these days I'm gonna snag me a man....a good man...a good cute man....a good cute smart man....a good cute smart funny man. And then my life will be complete.

Ooh...also, any dude (that you've never met before) that asks you to meet him at 10pm at the Jewel is not a catch. Am I right, ladies?

It only takes one.

DATE ME!

The Cutie Curse

You know what I hate? The term "Cutie". "Hey Cutie, what's up?" "How are you doing today, Cutie?" "I hate raccoons. What about you, Cutie?" WHY do men think this is so endearing???

I'm 40. It doesn't mean I want to be "ma'am-ed" all the time but Good Lord....enough with the CUTIE.

That is all.

DATE ME! (And get me the Hell off the Internet before I'm cutied to death!)

All The Single Ladies...All The Single Ladies....

As I've started hanging out with a new crop of single gal pals all in their early to mid 40's I've noticed a trend.....we're all very Sex and the City. We are (I liken myself to be a cross betwixt all the gals as there's a little Carrie/Charlotte/Miranda and Samantha in me...equally divided, I'd say). None of us are clamouring to get married in fact most don't think they ever want it. We are all independent and set in our ways but would like a steady beau in our lives.

I've never thought of myself as very traditional. I think there were a few years in my late 20's/early 30's that I was DYING to get married. But why? And thank God I didn't. I just liked the idea of marriage but now I like the idea of being with someone that I love and if that comes with marriage or doesn't then I'm OK either way (and living together is another story - if we ever shack up, be prepared for my 3 flat screens and DVR's because they're a' comin with me). It's nice to find ladies who agree with that since over the last few years I seem to have surrounded myself more and more with dames that long for the babies and marriage. And there's nothing wrong with that but as I've grown older I long for the connection with a great guy and not the ceremony that surrounds it. It'd be nice to have but not a requirement at all.

By the by....that SATC2 movie blew! Just blew. But it is always nice to see the ladies together. It's made such an impact on my life (the TV show) and I know has done the same for other women. Now that 3 out of the 4 are settled down and married, to me....Samantha is the most engaging (Miranda being a close second) character. But I digress....

All in all I think my summary is I'm open to anything. I just want to find the dude. The one dude that will be mine.....for a long, long time....anything else is icing on the cake....but I like my cake just plain as too much icing makes me nauseous.

DATE ME!

Calling ABC!

Sometimes I wish I could be the Bachelorette. (I also think it's strange that every time I type BACHELORETTE it's underlined like it's spelled wrong. Is it not a word? I'm confused.)

Here is the reason why: I don't think you can truly find love with someone in 6-8 weeks and then not see them a lot for 60-90 days. But I definitely think you can fall in lust/like and see if a real relationship can develop. The reason why I like the premise is that you're in a concentrated environment. All those dudes are there for one reason....YOU. Now I know there are usually some scammers but for the most part all the guys are there for you. With that being said, I think you can really find someone that you like. There are no other distractions and you can focus on getting to know the person that is right for you. Most of the guys that are on the show are there because they fit your criteria. Instead of having to fend for yourself on the Internet, fix ups, day to day chance encounters, speed dating and matchmakers, you're supplied with a bevy of gents who want to get to know you. For that I wish they'd consider a 40 yr old gal who won't put on a bathing suit for national TV....won't go in the hot tub....and won't go on dates where I'd have to drive red sports cars. What I would bring to the table is a sincerity to really try and find potential love, a funny/sharp wit, and a self deprecating humor that maybe has not been on TV for awhile. I know this is only a pipe dream but again....I think I'd really thrive in this environment.

You know what other environment I'd thrive in? Arranged marriage. Bring it!

DATE ME!