Gone

Unfortunately, there was a death in my family yesterday. It was a long time coming but extremely sad, nonetheless. It was someone I loved....adored! Growing up she was the coolest person in the world to me and I LOVED visiting and would cry when I had to leave. She was the best.

Well....I now feel like I have an angel watching over me (growing up people would say I resembled her and I took it as a compliment.....like when someone told me years ago that I resembled Lucille Ball - the YOUNG Lucille). I know this sounds nuts but I believe it to be true. How else would I have been walking my dog yesterday and a fella approached me, struck up a conversation and asked for my phone number? This NEVER happens to me (unless you remember Danny Cologne - alias - oh so many years ago).

Anyway....we all mourn and grieve in our own way. I'm not a big talker about my emotions until some time has passed and then all I want to do is talk. But for now I just keep it close to the heart. But when I have my secret chats and inner dialogues I now know she'll be watching over me from above while trying to push the hair out of my eyes and smiling.

Oh....and if this doesn't get me married within a year or two then nothing else will.

I raise this pork rind to you.

Blech!

A gentleman (and I use this term VERY loosely) text messaged me the other night. No, this is not the 29 yr old but another dude that I mistakenly gave my number to (they all start out so promising what with their sincere written word and cute pics). We have never met. Well, I hadn't heard from him in months and then the other day I get a "Heyhowareyouwhat'sgoingon?" text. I respond back kind of giddy that he contacted me. We exchange some casual back and forth texts and when I mention that we should set up a time to meet I don't hear back. Then the next night....or should I say MORNING I get the first text at 12:42am: Hi. I don't answer as I don't keep my phones in my boudoir. Then he sends another text at 1:27am: Hi there sexxxy!!!

Oh, and this is a dude from E-Harmony that is supposed to be a more respectable site.

Gross. I mean COME ON! Who are these idiots?? I guess I have to give him credit for the triple x in sexy, right? But really.....are any guys looking for a real relationship? Any cute dudes or are they all fine with random hook ups because they can probably get them? What happened to courtship and relationships? I know they still exist because a lot of my friends have them. But I also think they're becoming few and far between because there's so much candy being manufactured. Well....I'm no Twix, fellas. I'm a LADY. I want a relationship. I don't need your XXX.....just 1 X will do just fine.

Date me....or don't.....whatever!

Taking A Break

Went out on a coffee date last week and it just about did me in. I think I'm done looking. I'm sure I'll get the itch again but for now I'm done. DONE. I may have 1-2 residual meet and greets from a couple dudes I've been corresponding with but won't be shocked if neither of them follow through.

This whole process has been draining. I just want to enjoy my summer. I'm busy with work. I ran a half marathon (holla!). I'm getting new headshots and hope to pursue some on-camera work and I'm planning a trip to Italy. That's all I can handle for now.

And honestly, if one more guy that I've met/gone out with re-connects with me to tell me how great I am and that I'll find the one soon initiates this convo I'm gonna lose it. If I was/am so great then why didn't you want to be with me? Yeah....I'm fantastic and you're an ass.

They say once you stop looking is when you'll find the person. Hmm....we'll see if this is the case.

Like Oprah I'm done. Unlike Oprah I will not be holding a big party for myself with Beyonce and Madonna at the United Center. Though something I'll keep in my back pocket.

Do Not Date Me! (there!)

You've Got To Be Shitting Me!

The 29 yr old Texter has struck again! 2 minutes ago.

Hey! How r u doing tonight?

HOW AM I DOING TONIGHT??? FINE A-Hole. STOP TEXTING ME!

Actually.....I'm just not responding. But the aforementioned is what I'd like to write.

Also...the dude that asked me to visit his family for his birthday is no longer. No, he's not dead but I know he's done with me. No response to my 2 texts. I get it. Donezo. And honestly.....I'm totally fine about it. But I'll still never understand how last week he was asking me to celebrate his b-day with his family in Wisconsin and then he goes MIA. In a way I'm glad that I can't understand it because I never want to be like that. Good luck to ya!

I'm actually in a great mood. Huh.

date me!

Time To Meet The Parents?

I have been asked to accompany the dude I've been seeing to visit his parents for his birthday. I am unsure if I am ready for this step. As it happens, I have a prior engagement so couldn't sleep over (Yes! He wants me to spend the night at his P's....um.....huh?!) but may be driving up the next day for a family brunch (they don't live in IL). Now mind you....we are not yet Boyfriend/Girlfriend. We are both still seeing (or trying to, in my case) other people. I honestly don't know how I feel about this step as I'm not sure if this is "the one" for me. Do I still go? Does it matter? I'm perplexed.

date me!

I Made A Mistake And Now I Have To Live With It Forever

Last year I made the mistake in agreeing to go out with a guy....because he was young. 28 or 29....can't remember. I was flattered that he was interested. He was/is a filmmaker and production assistant. Worked on some reality tv shows in LA and moved back to IL. Sounds right up my alley, right? WRONG. The dude is a mess! A MESS! He's socially very awkward. We met for coffee and after that I received numerous text messages from him. I made it perfectly clear that I wasn't interested (10/20/2010 Sent this to him: You are a really nice guy but unfortunately are not the right guy for me. I wish you all the best!). To this day he is STILL contacting me. We met October 18th 2010. It is now 5/2/2011.

I get random texts like these:
10/25/2010 4:26pm: Hey yo! How are you doin? (My response: Good. Hope you are well.) Crazy Dude: Yeah, I'm OK. Tired and sick. (My response: Oh no. Fell better soon.) Crazy Dude: Thanks. And again, if you ever need anything from me please let me know. (My response: Will do. Thanks!)

10/25/2010 5:54pm: You good tonight? (My response: NOTHING)
AFTER THE WHOLE TEXT EXCHANGE AN HOUR BEFORE HE SENDS ANOTHER TEXT. IS HE DERANGED????

10/25/2010 6:35pm: How r u doing tonight? (My response: Good, thanks) Crazy Dude: Ok. Please contact me in the future. (My response: NOTHING)

11/6/2010 10:14pm: Hey! It's Rick. How r u doin' tonight? (My response: NOTHING)

12/10/2010 8:17pm: Hey! What r u up to tonight? Wanna hang out? (My response: Sorry I can't....already out with friends. Have a nice night.) Crazy Dude: U 2. If you wanna hang out later tonight, let me know. :-) (My response: NOTHING)

3/30/2011 6:12pm: Hey u. How's it going? (My response: NOTHING)

5/2/2011 10:44pm: Hey Hey! What you doing right now? (My response: You really need to stop texting me. You seem like a nice guy but I'm not interested in hanging out. I'm sorry) Crazy Dude: I understand. Just wondering if u need anything tonight? (My response: NOTHING)

WTF would I need at 11pm???? And honestly, I don't think this is sexual in nature. I think he means like if I need a bowl of soup.....or a hammer. The guy is deranged. Am I reading this wrong? Who contacts someone every 1-2 months to see if someone needs something from them? We met for 30 minutes last year. THAT IS ALL. I'm honestly perplexed.

date me!