Put A Fork In The Comedian, I'm Done

Have you ever been out with a guy (or a dame, for that matter) that made (or tried to) a joke about EVERYTHING? Like everything had a funny voice attached to it or a joke comment? Well folks....tonight was my night. It was like I was at the guy's stand up routine. Nothing....and I repeat NOTHING he said was matter of fact. It all had a little punch line or "funny" comment attached. The worst was when he busted out his British accent (due to the Royal wedding) and everything was said in said accent.....throughout the whole night. This is the second time (if you'll remember) that a fake accent was busted out during a first date. Irish was a couple months ago. So I guess I was due for another.

In addition to the "waka waka" he also kept looking at, what I thought was, my left boob. But it's not like it was out. He would say something and then casually peak down to my chest and then catch me staring at him and look back up. Hey bub, keep the peepers at eye level!

But the kicker was he lied about his height and his one "good picture" must have been taken at least 7-8 yrs ago. The other pics he had on his profile were "far away" shots. He said he was 5'8" but I'm guessing he was 5'6". The height compounded with the personality was a total deal breaker. I was dying to go home. But then he ordered another drink. Ugh. I hate that. You're driving and we've just met (we both said this would be a quick meet and greet). Isn't one beer enough?

Honestly....this whole dating thing is EXHAUSTING! I think I'm done for awhile. If the dude that I've been out with 5 times returns from his vacay and wants to seriously date me, I'm all in. If he's not interested I'm just gonna take a break. I've got running/training on my brain anyway.

I complete me. Take that Jerry McGuire!

date me (I'm over it!)

Again With The Old Men

Today I met an old (er) dude for coffee. I knew I wasn't going to like him (I could tell from his pics and profile) but he's in the advertising field and we knew some of the same people. His skin was like dark worn leather. Literally, he was a black white man. It was odd. Again, sitting down and talking with a 50 yr old makes me think I'm dating my father....or Uncle John. It's just....not my gig. He seemed to be trying really hard. Too hard. But he was pleasant. I'm referring my cleaning woman to him. She's da bomb. Never hurts to get her some work.

He already asked me to get together again. What am I going to say, "no"? He then asked me what I like to do (this was as I was putting my coat on). "So, do you like to go to concerts? Like, listen to music?" Again.....I felt weird. I didn't feel like sharing too much with him. I answered, "No, more like theater. OK then.....have a great day and thanks for meeting me."

Am I a lost cause? I think I answered my own question.

DATE ME?

Oh Lord

I think I just had the best IM exchange with a guy who kept insisting that I was a man and that the site we are both on is not a gay site. It was HILARIOUS. (As I have mentioned before: I am not a fan of the IM but this was like a car accident.....I could not look away) I kept saying to him that if he's a guy insisting that I'm a guy and he contacted me then he's obviously gay. If I were a guy I could do so much better than his lame ass. Our convo went on for 5 or so mins and then I got really bored with it. But it was amusing while it lasted. I think I'd be a great guy.....and if I were a gay guy?! Well, watch out dudes cuz I'd be unstoppable.

The Make or Break date tonight actually showed promise. He leaves for vacation on Saturday but we *might* have something.....still unsure because a lot of what he does and says bothers me to no end.....but the good thing about tonight was that I got a couple drinks in me and told him what bothered me and that seemed to help immensely. And I think he may be the type of guy who will work on those things, so......we could have a winner, folks. But again....I won't see him for 2 weeks or so......so this could be over before you know it BUT he seems eager to have me as his GF. AND he said I challenge him. And that, my friends.......is a pretty big plus in my book.

This day has been NUTS!

Date Me!

Hello Pretty Lady

I don't get it. Why would a guy like this (in Hobart, IN):

I am a Christian man seeking a romantic minded Christian woman to start out as friends and hopefully build a meaningful relationship... walk together in life and be best friends. Quality time in relationships is important to me. I listen to Christian radio to inrich my soul.....

Send me this:

Hello pretty lady,

You described me in your profile and you possess qualities I am looking for in a woman. On this huge planet we live in, do you think our two worlds could collide? I am interested in you,

This Jewish lady is not a fan.

DATE ME!

Thoughts

A few things on my mind:

• I hate when I don't get a proper hand massage when getting a manicure. Just applying lotion does not cut it in my book. Work the hands, ladies.
• I've been talking to a lot of "grass is always greener" friends. They're married. And they think my grass is green. Huh.
• I have a 5th and crucial date this eve. It's definitely a make or break. I have a feeling it'll be break but he may surprise me. I *hope* he'll surprise me.
• Last night my dog slept right between my face and chest area. It was a total spooning situation going on and it made me very pleased. Seriously....men are overrated.
• I've been seeing a lot of shows (friends' plays and such) lately. So far they average out to a C-. Who's doing really excellent work in Chicago? Seeing another one on Thursday. I have high hopes.
• I've got to get motivated to run farther distances. I wonder when this motivation will set in. 1/2 marathon is only a few weeks away. OY!
• A dude on E-Harm went all the way to level 4 with me (the final level before open communication....oooh...) and then I sent him a brief email and he closed me. What up with that?! Why go through all the trouble of "getting to know me" to then close me....within a day from the email? I must have written something really offensive....like "Hi - It's been nice getting to know you."
  
• I'm not looking for a job but a good one was forwarded to me by my friend so I applied. Just like the E-Harm guy I was rejected.....rejected within 30 minutes of submittal. Huh. Lots of "We're not interested" going on this past week.
  

And so it goes......

DATE ME!

Online Dating Authority

This evening I'm getting interviewed about online dating. A subject near and dear to my heart (maybe too near and too dear). Maybe I'll become the go to authority on the subject? I've certainly been at it off and on for many a year.

I had my 3rd date with the relationship guy last night and all seems to be going well. We were actually supposed to meet today for lunch but my sched just didn't allow it. Next date is Thursday eve. I like him. But I'm very guarded. I told him as much. He seemed to be cool with this. He's going away on a family vacay next Saturday so that could change everything. Out of site out of mind? After this Thursday I can only see him again next Tuesday and then not again for 2 weeks so who knows.

He wears a lot of cologne. But I'm trying not to notice.

He's cute....in a thinner John Belushi kind of way. I don't think he'd be too pleased with this assessment. If he's reading this he may dump me but I don't think he knows about it. Hmm.....

I do enjoy my time with him but I still don't have that, "I want to see you all the time" feeling. Maybe I'll never have that again? Not sure. I find fault in every dude I go out with. I'm a tough customer. But I'm *trying* to just go with it. I want to have a boyfriend again. I miss it.

Other than him I'm lining up a couple other things. Gotta keep those eggs in the basket as if the basket only has one egg and it breaks then we have a situation.

Date Me!

My How Time Has Flown

A few updates:

There were a couple of guys I had gone out on multiple dates with and both of these dudes are HIStory. I don't think any of us felt a true connection.

Recently I've been out a couple of times with a guy that I *sense* wants me to be his lady. We shall see. In a way it's kinda scary to think someone who SEEMS normal could want me as his gal pal. We've only been out a couple of times but have another date planned and if it were up to him we would be spending weekends together. I don't know if I feel it with him but I guess only time will tell.

I have been single for a year now. It's crazy for me to think that so much time has passed. But when I think back to where and how I was a year ago to where/how I am now....I am pleased. I'm still not 100% happy but I'm getting there. I've been focusing a lot on ME and doing things that are out of my comfort zone and I think I'm changing into a better person. I still find it tough to open up to fellas.....I'm working on this....being open and free, ya know? Past experiences have really put the kibosh on this. But I'm trying.

So....2011 has truly been the year of DORI.

Anyone else out there celebrating my year?

DATE ME!

Are You Gonna Get The Quiche?!

Over the past couple of days I've been out with a couple of fellas and both are not right for me but one in particular stood out....for the wrong reason.

He is an ENERGETIC guy. I knew it when talking to him on the phone that we probably shouldn't have met. He was way too much. It's a shame because he's decent looking....a few years older than me....and is a gentleman. But he's too.....salesy. Kind of awkward, ya know? He was loud. Really talkative. Loved to quote movies: Like everything he brought up related back to a movie quote. He also couldn't get off the fact that I was meeting my HS girlfriends at Bakers Square to relive the magic of our youth. "Bakers Square?! Why?! Are you gonna get the quiche?!" He said this 4 times. He thought it was funny. Finally I said, "No. And I have no clue what you're talking about."

I tried to be nice. I did. And I think I was. I was with him an hour and a half but I wanted to leave right when we both stepped in the elevator and he screamed, "Well this is a coincidence. I was just in the bathroom." And then he broke into a very bad Gaelic accent as he was trying to recreate a gathering he was just at. Everyone there was Irish. This went on for 10 or so minutes....him speaking in a bad Irish accent. At the end of the night he asked me to go out again. What do you say? No? I said yes. But I won't see him again. I just can't.

So two guys are crossed off my list but I'm trying to keep the faith that my fella is out there. I am. I am.

DATE ME!

I Have No Clue What This Means...

...but I received this message today from a 50 yr old gentleman...and I liked it:

wow...you are a something girl....meaning you are asking a lot for a guy and I am not half of what you want, I even forgot all those things.......... I am just myself and I will enjoy meeting you whenever you might come to Schaumburg- Woodfield mall. I lived in Chicago for many years and I loved it. Take care of yourself and let me know when you want to meet.

DATE ME!