Does It Get Any Better Than This? No.

A guy on one of the dating sites asked me to help him find a job (no mention of wanting to date me AT ALL) and being the kind person that I am, gave him some advice and lo and behold here was his response. I can not make this sh*t up:

I went to LinkedIn.

There are mostly women on that site. Women and gay men are "power users" of social media sites and being a man I feel out of place and uncomfortable. I am just not the "metrosexual trendy type" who uses these social media sites to find employment.
I do not want to have a 30-something year old former sorority sister with an MBA to recruit me.

I'm a 43 year old man. It seems like women hold all the the careers in hotels and PR in 2011.

Thanks anyway.

You've got to be F'ing kidding me, right? THIS is what is out there ladies......grab it while the going's good. Oy!

Date Me!

Where Do I Begin?

Over the weekend I received these nuggets from potential suitors:

Cooljackie: hello beutyful (love the spelling! Upon further inspection into his profile, here's what he wrote......mind you, I am a grammar and spelling enthusiast.....but nothing about this can be comended): I realy do not have any hobbies I am dedicated to. But I enjoy being out side in good wether. And I am open to doing a veriety of things. I am perty easy going, and get along with people well.

WHERE DO I SIGN UP?????

Makes you want to run right out and date him, huh?

Then today I got this one from MrYadidda: Do you date black men?

Oh....and another one to mention from Pantywaste (REALLY? THIS is your profile name????): Hi

OH OH and then "The Voice" who wants to be friends even though I told him I didn't feel a connection starts trying to tell me which pictures of mine are good and which are bad. Um....who asked you?! He also said I should use the "professional tester" on one of the sites as they work (they tell you what pictures work and which are not good). They work?? Then why are you still single? That's mean. I take it back. I do. I'm just so friggin frustrated. ARRGGGHHHH!

I HATE INTERNET DATING! I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT!!!!!!!!

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One More Thing Because I Feel Like I'm On A Roll.....

........When guys say, "My loss, I'm sure" they don't mean this at all. They are THRILLED to be rid of you. If they really felt you'd be a loss they would be with you.

OK......now I am going to get off my horse. My high one.

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Laying It On The Line

I'm honestly sick and tired. Ugh! ANOTHER dude goes MIA on me. But this one I confronted.

How do you go out with someone a couple times and get a text that reads: "Guess what? I like you." And barely hear from them again????? HOW!???

Well....I wanted some answers and so I asked. The answer seemed mamsy pamsy but I *think* honest. I won't go into the sitch as it's his business but I guess the moral of this tale is that from now on I do want to know the truth. For so long I have been the girl that didn't want to know....shelter me from the truth because the truth hurts. Well....not anymore. With this dating crap I need to know. And now I do.

Yes, the truth hurts but so does the ambiguity. So now I know. And now I hate him.

Date Me!

PS: For all the dudes that do douchey things to girls: Don't tell them how fabulous they are while you're being a douche. We don't need to be patronized. We get it. You're not into us. Don't make it out to be that we're all that if you can't muster up the balls to tell us what's really going on. OK.....I think I am now finished.

I Am The Pale Man

A dude I met while speed dating awhile ago found me on Facebook and has been sending me messages. They're mean messages. I think he holds a grudge because I wasn't interested in going out with him.

Check out these doozies:

8/10: wow what a pic, you are so white
And today: you are so white, so old

REALLY???!!!! Why be such a dick?! Maybe it's his jack-assedness Andrew Dice Clay humor (though he's Indian so is there an Indian Andrew Dice Clay?) that's a turn off.

Is it plausible for me to be a Jewish nun? Just checking.

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The Voice

A million years ago I was contacted by a fella that seemed "good on paper". Good job. Relatively attractive (from his posted pics). Seemed active. Tall. We set up a time to talk and Holy Balls.....it was like I was talking to a muppet (the tone was like a cross between Kermit and Fozzy Bear). It was so bothersome that I had to get off the phone and hence I told him that I wasn't interested in meeting (though I did not mention The Voice).

Fast Forward to present day and who am I contacted by the other day, but him. I thought, hey....give it another shot. Maybe he had a cold? It's like 6 years later. We chatted last night and BAM. There it was. It's like I was talking to Herman Munster in a cave. (are we getting an audio now?) I just am so torn. I think I have to meet him in person but how will I handle it? Is it possible that he may sound better in person than he does over the phone? I could only muster a few minutes with him last night and told him I'd follow up today. I'm thinking of making a quick call to set up a time/place to meet for coffee and just go from there.

I have this visual that if we do meet he's going to show up in costume. Honestly. It's just some crazy feeling.

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Coming Around Again

I changed up my photos on my dating profiles (gotta stir it up very once in awhile) and it's generated some buzz but what I find really amazing is that the interest is coming from guys I talked to YEARS ago (let's not sugar coat it....I've been doing the Online dating thing off and on for a bajillion years.....I've always been more comfortable trying to meet guys this way as it's a more controlled environment. I'm very shy and get nervous in group party settings so I always felt more comfortable meeting someone this way or through a set up where I know the guy is there to meet me. Now, I have dated guys I met other ways: work, improv/theater, walking down the street (I'm rad like that), etc but the Internet has always been a good resource for me). I, however, never met these particular dudes in person. I think it's because I wasn't that interested or I met someone else that I went out with and liked. But this go-round I'm going to meet them....just for a quick coffee or drink but I shall engage. What do I have to lose, right? Summer is going by quickly and I may need a hiatus from my hiatus.

So....I'm trying to get back in the game. We shall see if anything comes from it but I am officially back!

Date Me!