Why is too nice too.....NOT COOL? As I found out the other night, sometimes a guy who is OVERLY nice....Trying WAY too hard....is a big turn off. We all SAY we want a "nice guy"....a "good guy"...but when that dude is standing right in front of you, do you really want him?
Here's my theory on this: Yes. I do want a nice guy. I want someone who thinks about me and wants to see me and spend time with me and say nice things about my appearance. Someone who considers me in decisions and makes me a part of his life. BUT when that person doesn't know me? Has only met me for an hour and is basically "in like" with me? That is scary and unappealing. I have recently come upon this situation and frankly it turned me way off. At the beginning of a relationship....especially if you don't know the person and you're meeting them for the first time, don't go overboard. I don't want someone planning our future....getting paranoid if I like them or not. HELLO! I'M the one who's supposed to be like that. Not the guy. Maybe it's just me? Ladies...any thoughts? A little chase never hurt anyone. But once you both know that you like one another then I don't want any of that distant/guessing crap. Then we're committed and I like you and you like me and I like thoughtful gifts and sweet nothings whispered in my ear. But after a first meeting? No way, Jose.
Jose....wonder what he's doing tonight? Hmmm....
Do I want my cake and eat it too? Yes. Is this too much to ask? I don't think so. Cake....yum....cake AND Jose. Thank you.
DATE ME!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Let The Dating Begin!
Things are getting hot. BUT, I always am cautious (just like in my job search) because I know that one day/week things are busy and the next day/week it's ice cold. For TODAY I've got a few dudes in the mix and it's kind of exciting.
The one I was really interested in dropped off the face of the earth (um...one day hot and then next day not) so I had to re-group. Now I've got a few more in the mix. It does seem that most of the dudes that show an interest live out of state. And you know what....I'm OK with this. I'll move. I will. I kind of need a new change of scenery anyway. I'd miss my friends and family FOR SURE, but a few of these guys live close so it's not like CA it's more like MN or MI. Bring it.
I do have a date tonight with a potential Chicago fella. Just don't think he's "the one". I think going out with multiple dudes (who are not a waste of time but more potentials) is good for me. That way I'll really know it when I see it...or kiss it. Yes.
Anyway....on a totally other tangent.....
The other day I was approached by a very obvious drug induced gent when I was out walking my dog...in the middle of the day. He calls from across the street, "Hey Ma'am...Ma'am!" (already I was unimpressed as HELLO....I'm a 40 yr old MISS) I stop and he runs up to me and gives me what I know is the oldest story in the book: I need money to get on the train....home...to work...etc. But this guy had some HILARIOUS details. "I work for IBM. I need to get to Naperville. I need $11." Ha! Loved it! I had so many questions and had I not been worried that he would kill me I would have asked them. "Huh...you work for IBM, eh? So why are you here....in Uptown.....in the middle of the day....in your lady jeans and 'going out' shirt? What happened to your suit and/or biz casual attire? All the IBM employees I know are at work....DOWNTOWN....in the IBM building. Naperville? How do you propose to get there? You're not by a Metra Station but a Red Line el. Are you here because IBM sent you on a very important assignment....in UPTOWN.....not close to ANY businesses (except the bar Ollies)....in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY? Who do you think you're fooling, my friend??" Ah, if only.....
DATE ME!
The one I was really interested in dropped off the face of the earth (um...one day hot and then next day not) so I had to re-group. Now I've got a few more in the mix. It does seem that most of the dudes that show an interest live out of state. And you know what....I'm OK with this. I'll move. I will. I kind of need a new change of scenery anyway. I'd miss my friends and family FOR SURE, but a few of these guys live close so it's not like CA it's more like MN or MI. Bring it.
I do have a date tonight with a potential Chicago fella. Just don't think he's "the one". I think going out with multiple dudes (who are not a waste of time but more potentials) is good for me. That way I'll really know it when I see it...or kiss it. Yes.
Anyway....on a totally other tangent.....
The other day I was approached by a very obvious drug induced gent when I was out walking my dog...in the middle of the day. He calls from across the street, "Hey Ma'am...Ma'am!" (already I was unimpressed as HELLO....I'm a 40 yr old MISS) I stop and he runs up to me and gives me what I know is the oldest story in the book: I need money to get on the train....home...to work...etc. But this guy had some HILARIOUS details. "I work for IBM. I need to get to Naperville. I need $11." Ha! Loved it! I had so many questions and had I not been worried that he would kill me I would have asked them. "Huh...you work for IBM, eh? So why are you here....in Uptown.....in the middle of the day....in your lady jeans and 'going out' shirt? What happened to your suit and/or biz casual attire? All the IBM employees I know are at work....DOWNTOWN....in the IBM building. Naperville? How do you propose to get there? You're not by a Metra Station but a Red Line el. Are you here because IBM sent you on a very important assignment....in UPTOWN.....not close to ANY businesses (except the bar Ollies)....in the MIDDLE OF THE DAY? Who do you think you're fooling, my friend??" Ah, if only.....
DATE ME!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
The Bar Has Been Lowered
Have I mentioned that my bar is low? Not like crack den convicted felon low but low....er. With lowering ones bar a lot of soul searching is done. Here are a few standards that I am compromising on:
1) I will date Small Change (In the past I would only be open to 5'9" and above....really like 5'10" and above but now.....bring on the 5'7"-ers....even 5'6"-ers....MAYBE...my friends think I should have always been open to shorter dudes as I'm 5'4". I just don't want to feel bigger than the fella...but bring it!)
2) Geographically undesirable? Not anymore. (I love being alone. I do. I love my down time. Then why wouldn't I be open to dating someone in the Suburbs....or even out of town? Now....I am! We can Skype to get to know one another. There's also this new fangled contraption called the PHONE.)
3) Kids? Bring it! (What do I care if someone has kids? I'd be a great mom. I know I'm a good dog mom and aunt. And it's not like I'd really even have to be a mother. This also goes back to my independence. If he has to be with his kids every other weekend I'm fine with that as I will take this time to be with my friends....or be with my dog and TV. I'm OK on either accounts.)
4) Divorced? I say "Yes!" (This means you committed. As my track record shows with my past suitors that have all been non-committal folks.....until they ARE committed....LIARS....won't "go there" these Divorcees have and I bet will again.)
5) Physical appearance in general. Not a looker but have all the other qualities I'm looking for? OK! (I was recently contacted by a guy that I believe - his 3 pictures only show him from the waist up and although his face is cute it has a lot of....shall we say....girth around it... - is big. How big? Like MAYBE Biggest Loser big. But again...he has a really cute face. Now....I don't want anyone who I think is in physical danger due to obesity but if someone is packing 30-50 lbs extra weight who am I to reject them? If they're carrying 100 extra lbs then we may have a problem but I have to be open-minded.)
Things I will not compromise on:
1) Smarts - don't care if you're college educated but you MUST be smart!
2) Humor - Not a joke teller but one who "gets it"
3) Kind hearted - no A-holes please!
4) A committer - Did I mention this before? No more dudes who think they can date me for years and never want to be with me for years after. I don't care about a ring...at all....but I do want someone who wants to be with me. I'm a catch....at least that's what I keep telling myself in my Stuart Smally sessions I have on a daily basis with myself and my mirror.
All in all I have to start thinking more with my head than my heart. This next guy that I seriously date is going to be a keeper. I'm done dating to get my heart broken. I will do the due diligence on the front end instead of the back-end. This, I believe, will be the key to my future happiness.
OH...and if anyone has any fabulous men that I just must meet...bring em on!
DATE ME!
1) I will date Small Change (In the past I would only be open to 5'9" and above....really like 5'10" and above but now.....bring on the 5'7"-ers....even 5'6"-ers....MAYBE...my friends think I should have always been open to shorter dudes as I'm 5'4". I just don't want to feel bigger than the fella...but bring it!)
2) Geographically undesirable? Not anymore. (I love being alone. I do. I love my down time. Then why wouldn't I be open to dating someone in the Suburbs....or even out of town? Now....I am! We can Skype to get to know one another. There's also this new fangled contraption called the PHONE.)
3) Kids? Bring it! (What do I care if someone has kids? I'd be a great mom. I know I'm a good dog mom and aunt. And it's not like I'd really even have to be a mother. This also goes back to my independence. If he has to be with his kids every other weekend I'm fine with that as I will take this time to be with my friends....or be with my dog and TV. I'm OK on either accounts.)
4) Divorced? I say "Yes!" (This means you committed. As my track record shows with my past suitors that have all been non-committal folks.....until they ARE committed....LIARS....won't "go there" these Divorcees have and I bet will again.)
5) Physical appearance in general. Not a looker but have all the other qualities I'm looking for? OK! (I was recently contacted by a guy that I believe - his 3 pictures only show him from the waist up and although his face is cute it has a lot of....shall we say....girth around it... - is big. How big? Like MAYBE Biggest Loser big. But again...he has a really cute face. Now....I don't want anyone who I think is in physical danger due to obesity but if someone is packing 30-50 lbs extra weight who am I to reject them? If they're carrying 100 extra lbs then we may have a problem but I have to be open-minded.)
Things I will not compromise on:
1) Smarts - don't care if you're college educated but you MUST be smart!
2) Humor - Not a joke teller but one who "gets it"
3) Kind hearted - no A-holes please!
4) A committer - Did I mention this before? No more dudes who think they can date me for years and never want to be with me for years after. I don't care about a ring...at all....but I do want someone who wants to be with me. I'm a catch....at least that's what I keep telling myself in my Stuart Smally sessions I have on a daily basis with myself and my mirror.
All in all I have to start thinking more with my head than my heart. This next guy that I seriously date is going to be a keeper. I'm done dating to get my heart broken. I will do the due diligence on the front end instead of the back-end. This, I believe, will be the key to my future happiness.
OH...and if anyone has any fabulous men that I just must meet...bring em on!
DATE ME!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
The Transition To The DOG Has Been Made
As the job is going well, I will now focus my attention on dating. DATING....or lack there of. Let me just say this...I'm a relationship gal. Dating for me is very tough. I like to just jump right to the "I'm comfortable. You're my boyfriend. Let's ride this train till we just can't ride it no more" phase. So, being back in the dating world is not very appealing to me. But I must do it as it's an end to a means. A lot of people are telling me to enjoy my singlehood. To those people (who are mostly attached) I say, "You enjoy it!" That's being a bit babyish but it's how I feel. I want to just meet one person and start a relationship with them. Having to get to know new people is not what I'm looking for at this point in my life. I'd rather get to know my dog.....or should I say, know my dog so much better than I already know him now. But I'm trying to muster up the motivation to get out there....wherever "there" is.
So....I've joined some Internet dating sites. This is not new territory for me as I've been on them off and on in between relationships. The thing I've found this time is that 40 is like being 80 to dudes. Most guys that I'd be interested in want to meet the 25-35 set so a lot of guys won't even consider me because I'm 40. This has driven me to join a site that maybe I wouldn't have joined before. It's a site that I had heard that a lot of guys are on (and no....it's not a porn site or anything like that.....but a porn site may be next step let me tell you....desperate times.....). This site has been my saving grace as I'm getting contacted a LOT by many dudes but I'm looking for quality and not quantity. So far, I've been asked to "take a nap" with a guy that I've never met, been told that the person contacting me was not interested in me but wanted to know where one of my pictures was taken (thanks for clarifying), asked if I could "handle" one guy and one telling me that he lives at home with his parents but is ready for a mature relationship: dating should have no age boundaries. Normally I would agree but this fella was 23 and had graduated from college a year ago. OY! There are a couple guys that I'd like to get to know/meet but until they ask me out I'm never sure if it'll amount to anything.
So....I continue to search. I'm just looking for one. ONE. I don't need 10 and I certainly don't need guys just looking for a good time. Not my gig. I've been out with a couple guys who were cute and nice so I know what I want and who I'll meet. I normally don't meet a lot of crazies...I just seem to talk to them on the phone and/or email with them but I guess that's what the weeding out process is all about.
Being 40 and dating is a lot different than when I was 35/36 and dating. BUT....I'm trying to remain positive as I know the right guy is out there for me. Now....if only I could get these fellas to sign waivers so I could video tape our dates and have a reality tv show....that'd be AWE-some!
DATE ME!
So....I've joined some Internet dating sites. This is not new territory for me as I've been on them off and on in between relationships. The thing I've found this time is that 40 is like being 80 to dudes. Most guys that I'd be interested in want to meet the 25-35 set so a lot of guys won't even consider me because I'm 40. This has driven me to join a site that maybe I wouldn't have joined before. It's a site that I had heard that a lot of guys are on (and no....it's not a porn site or anything like that.....but a porn site may be next step let me tell you....desperate times.....). This site has been my saving grace as I'm getting contacted a LOT by many dudes but I'm looking for quality and not quantity. So far, I've been asked to "take a nap" with a guy that I've never met, been told that the person contacting me was not interested in me but wanted to know where one of my pictures was taken (thanks for clarifying), asked if I could "handle" one guy and one telling me that he lives at home with his parents but is ready for a mature relationship: dating should have no age boundaries. Normally I would agree but this fella was 23 and had graduated from college a year ago. OY! There are a couple guys that I'd like to get to know/meet but until they ask me out I'm never sure if it'll amount to anything.
So....I continue to search. I'm just looking for one. ONE. I don't need 10 and I certainly don't need guys just looking for a good time. Not my gig. I've been out with a couple guys who were cute and nice so I know what I want and who I'll meet. I normally don't meet a lot of crazies...I just seem to talk to them on the phone and/or email with them but I guess that's what the weeding out process is all about.
Being 40 and dating is a lot different than when I was 35/36 and dating. BUT....I'm trying to remain positive as I know the right guy is out there for me. Now....if only I could get these fellas to sign waivers so I could video tape our dates and have a reality tv show....that'd be AWE-some!
DATE ME!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
